S02E60 RELATIONSHIPS IN THE PURSUIT OF FITNESS HEALTH AND CROSSFIT

What kind of relationships can you build while pursuing fitness and health? Gym buddies? Friends? Maybe something more? We talk to elite athletes Nicole and Matt Milone @nicole.milone @shmilone who met doing CrossFit. Not only did they both compete in CrossFit Regional Team 2017 and 2018 but they also married their training partners - each other. Whether you have a 5pm regular class partner who keeps you accountable, or you meet the person of your dreams, what is it about the pursuit of fitness and health that can bring people closer together?

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S02E60 RELATIONSHIPS IN THE PURSUIT OF FITNESS HEALTH AND CROSSFIT

[00:00:00] David Syvertsen: Welcome back to the herd fit podcast. I am coach David Syvertsen with Dr and coach Sam Rhee, And here we are a week later. We're on the same clothes. last week we have our two special guests. We have Matt and Nicole Milone, very good friends of Bison. Fun fact for those that don't know they were on the cross bison open roster team in 2021.

And uh, so they, that the long relationship with these guys, and that's gonna be a lot of what we talk about in this podcast. It's titled the relationships and the pursuit of health and fitness. And how does health and fitness improve or impede relationships and then vice versa.

How do relationships. Impede and improve health and fitness. And I think we're just gonna start it off with kind of big picture first. We're gonna talk about just like the macro level of group training. All right. We all know that most people, that CrossFit are into it because of that group training field.

And you could take CrossFit out of this group training has taken over the fitness world, tenfold over, I would say the last 15 years. They were not a big, I remember when I first started working out at a global. This is like 2006, 2007. I, you every now and then there's like a class at 10 o'clock in the morning.

You look, and there's like a bunch of weird people doing stuff together. I'm like, I always thought that was so weird. And now it's like, when I see it, the other way, mm-hmm, , it's so weird to be by yourself in a global gym doing your own thing. But I wanna talk about. Just what actually occurs in a group training format that I don't think people always fully realize or appreciate.

And let's just go through the list. We'll just get thoughts from all three of you guys on that. Let's talk about the most obvious one, like the bonding when people train together, whether they're friends or not. There's a lot of bonding that goes on. And I think the number one reason is.

Is that we see people at their best and worst. And I really feel like if you're gonna have a tight relationship with anyone, that's what you need to see. You need to see people at their best and you need to see people at their worst. And you see that every time at the gym, right? You see people like, wow, like look great in that workout.

You crush it. And then you see the next day, wow. You just got your buck kicked in that workout. You look terrible doing that movement. Get, and I think it's like a conscious and subconscious thing is it's, it's some things that you realize, some things you don't talk about, just some of the bonds that you guys.

With people beyond just ourselves, with each other, because Matt, Nicole, they're obviously married, right. there's obviously a bond there that goes deeper than working out, but just some your training partners in the back, or in, in the past or people that you train with now that you don't, they're not even friends with, what is it like to be in that group format, knowing that you're all taking on that same thing together, Nicole?

[00:02:25] Nicole Milone: Yeah. I mean, so like if we take a, a group class at the gym that we go to. No matter what you're gonna push yourself harder. Like whether it's, like moms in the group or people our age. Yeah. It's like, you're gonna push yourself harder. Whether I was like at home in my driveway, mm-hmm, doing it by myself.

Or if I go to the gym you're always just gonna go harder. So I think it's the ability to just push yourself more than if you were alone. And then just creating personal , like, connections with people that you probably normally wouldn't otherwise, if you weren't at the gym, would you really be friends with them?

Maybe not, but like, I don't know, you have a similarity now and a same kind of thing that you're interested in, at least mm-hmm . Um, So that definitely helps like build relationships.

[00:03:12] David Syvertsen: Yeah. And Matt and Matt, Matt's a coach and athlete right now at, at four to two fitness. So like you can maybe just give an experience on both those from both those angles.

[00:03:20] Matt Milone: Yeah. So, like there's times kind of like what Nicole said, like, I'll be like, oh, like, I don't know, like, do I wanna go out in the driveway or, downstairs in our garage and do a workout or it's like, or I could go to for, and take like the four 30 class with like a group people. And like, you always have that, like, there's just something about doing these group classes that you're like, Yeah, I'm gonna go there.

Like I'm gonna push myself more, like, just get there, like the hardest part, like we always say is just show up. Yep. And you're like, I've heard it time and time again, from a coaching per perspective, like an athlete will leave and they'll be like, I didn't want to come here today, but I feel so much better that I did.

Yep. Like I've never heard someone after class be like, wow, I really regret coming and taking this class. Yep. You just feel so much better, but from like a bonding perspective, like, like Nicole said, like there's people now, whether I'm in the class or, or I'm coaching the class, like there's people like, friendships that I found just from.

Coaching the people over time or and going back to like, oh, like, not that I like, I'm like, oh, like this person's in this class, but it's like, oh wow. Like, X, Y, and Z's in this class. Like, I really want to go and work out with them. Like, they're cool. They're fun. Like, I wanna talk to them like in between sets or whatever we're doing.

So, it, it it's certainly like, like a driving factor to wanna be in a group class. Yeah. Like, it's just like, you have fun, you push each other. It it's just overall like a good experience. Yeah. Sam.

[00:04:30] Sam Rhee: Yeah. They both hit it right on the head with it. And I think COVID showed me more than anything else working by myself versus being in a group.

So thankful to be in a group. And honestly, as a coach, every day, when I see athletes, like you said, reveal the best of themselves, people that I don't really know well, and I watch them really push on an, on a workout. Mm-hmm , I'm like, wow, they have a lot of grit. And I love seeing that. And every day that I coach, I usually see someone.

Really pushing. And that shows me something new about them that I didn't see cuz you know, we're all just ordinary looking people. Mm-hmm but when you actually see someone being tested and then rising to that test, yeah.

[00:05:10] David Syvertsen: I'm. It's

[00:05:11] Sam Rhee: inspirational. It is inspirational. It makes me feel like I want to do better too.

Yeah. Like

[00:05:15] David Syvertsen: I, I feel like the inspirational word, it doesn't always need to be this like dramatic situation where someone overcomes like this unbelievable task. And like, I, I just, I, I get this all the time as a coach I'll come in and not wanna work out, but then I'll watch two, three classes work out in a row.

And like, that inspires me to just like, you know what, I want to go do what they just did. And like, I, I think everyone should know that. Whether you're new to cross it old, to cross it, whether you consider yourself good athlete, bad athlete, I think you just pursuing high effort, things that are difficult, overcoming challenges.

It goes a long way for people in the room, even people that you don't speak with. Mm-hmm like, I, I, I'm huge on like the actions over words, right? The support that you see in these gyms, that's one thing I think gets overlooked a lot too. And I know for a fact, there's people in this gym that are, maybe not the friendliest people outside.

Of the gym or in the office, but they'll go over to someone that's clearly struggling at the end of the workout everyone's already done. And they're, and they're like the biggest cheerleader. And I, and I think that's almost like, I don't think that person would ever do something like that outside the gym.

Mm-hmm and those are things that I'm sure you guys see all the time, whether you guys have been CrossFitting both on your own and inboxing classes for, for years, talk about just like the support that a stranger can get to someone else can really just elevate someone else's.

[00:06:26] Nicole Milone: Yeah, I think, I mean, the open is like a perfect, perfect example of just like that community and cheering each other on and the support it's like, you'll never see it more maybe like at competitions or something, but like the open, just the gym vibes that. Are in there. It's like nothing else. Like if you're doing it by yourself, there's none of that.

Not even close of just pushing yourself. And even if you have someone there cheering you on, it's not like being in a gym, in a group setting with that support. And even group classes. I mean, we see it, like when we take the class, it's like, if someone is left there by themselves trying to finish the.

No. One's like cleaning up. No, one's just like going on. It's like, you're waiting until that person is done. You're cheering them on. You're making sure they finish

[00:07:09] Matt Milone: shown respect. Yeah. Yeah. CrossFit's like, notorious for that. No one finishes by themselves. You're always gonna go there and you're.

You're gonna cheer that last person on whether the person wants it or not.

[00:07:20] David Syvertsen: That's true. That's always tough. That's

[00:07:21] Matt Milone: always tough. But you know, it's a comradery thing. You're whether they want it or not like they're there because

[00:07:26] David Syvertsen: they care. Yeah. And I think the principle behind the principle behind that action is what's most important is that we don't want you to feel alone, even though you probably don't want all the eyes and the attention on you, you have to remove yourself from that emotion and just say like, Hey, these people.

For me. And they're showing me that, and at the end of the day, you can be as independent as you, as you want to be, or as independent as you think you are. But that, that always helps. That's a big deal for sure. Sam? No,

[00:07:50] Sam Rhee: absolutely. Just watching you three work out right now and seeing. You guys push each other and Dave's struggling to keep up and working really

[00:07:58] Matt Milone: hard.

One again, a week later, I want again,

[00:08:00] Sam Rhee: like, I was like, wow. You could really pushing Dave there he's really, you know, wouldn't have tried as hard if he, you two weren't here. That

[00:08:07] David Syvertsen: one. Absolutely. So that was good. Yeah. Now we can even go into the social component of, and this is not the same with every gym and whether it's across it or not.

But I do think that there it's something that should be touched on that. If you're kind of on the fence, you're, you're someone that trains by yourself a lot. You don't really have like gym friends or you, I, I think that tried to get involved socially with some people that you work out with can have enormous benefits.

And, know, at the end of the day, everyone heres a human being and you see them outside of the gym. Sometimes you don't recognize them cuz they actually actually look pretty good and you're like, oh wow, you don't have sweat up and down your face and tears going down your cheeks. But you know, I think what's one thing, a lot of these group training.

Fitness places they do really well is try to get people together, outside the gym to just strengthen the bond. And when that bond is strengthened outside the gym, it makes the experience in the gym even stronger because I, and it, it can, it can, and I, and I feel that. That's something that we've experienced, right?

Like we really, our relationship as friends really started as, as let's try to get after it at the gym, you're not bad. It's all I hang out with you eventually. But now you guys are coming over our house and know, I think you guys were one of the first people that met Brock after he was born during the pandemic.

Watch you guys got married. We went on vacation together. That's a relationship that all started in the gym, then it, so, slowly but surely grew outside of the gym. And I even remember Liz's wedding. And like looking at her, the amount of people that were there from the gym, it was, it was unbelievable.

And we, like, I remember Tafaro and I think you were there too. It was me, you Tafaro. And Dallas, we were talking about no one knew each other five, six years ago, and now we're at Liz's wedding or some of them were even in Liz's wedding. And I think those are some benefits of training with the group that I don't think people realize initially.

And I'm not saying you go to the gym to try and get friends if you want to, you can, but it's something it's just like an extra icing on the cake, an extra layer to the advantage and perk of, of finding a group to work out with thoughts on that.

[00:10:01] Nicole Milone: Yeah. I mean, we have a little bit of a different experience just because we weren't always doing like competition right.

Training or by ourselves. Yeah. Or doing open gyms. So like you said, but we have our. Maybe on a smaller scale, but like friends like you and Ash and then like Elise. And like, we just became such good friends because of that. And I think group classes are just like a bigger scale of it. Like it's the same kind of like idea, just, more people.

And I think you guys at bison do such a good job of, I don't know what it is you guys do here, but I feel brainwash everyone they have like hypnosis or something, but they, you guys do such a good job of, I feel like we come here and we always say this, we. So many people, this, that you come in and you feel like everyone is just so welcoming mm-hmm and like, The, the vibe here is just, you could feel it when you come in, when we come do open workouts, it's like,

[00:10:49] David Syvertsen: no, we've heard that before.

Yeah. From people that come from other gyms. Yeah. And again, it's like, it's just the group of people. I don't think it's anything that we do like individually. It's just like, it's just slowly organic you Jewish. It's just a lot of good

[00:11:01] Matt Milone: people blessing. Give yourself some credit. They're like that the people, because of what you guys do yeah.

From the ground it's ground up. It's definitely right.

[00:11:09] Nicole Milone: I think the competitions like you guys have the. Internal right.

[00:11:13] David Syvertsen: Competition coming up. Yeah, two weeks. I

[00:11:14] Matt Milone: think that helps. Let get in on that. We're sorry, but

[00:11:19] David Syvertsen: scared part

[00:11:19] Nicole Milone: I think that helps just build community, just things like that. Like getting the gym together, whether it is like, and I saw you guys have. Like a party outside the trees.

[00:11:28] Matt Milone: Yep. Yep. So real quick too. And some of my like best friends, I mean, obviously, I don't like, like I have my, I grew up with you, like you're my hometown friends.

Yeah. And then you have your college friends and literally have like my CrossFit friends. But like, they're like some of the, like, the best people I've ever met and like, like what you said, like you could hit me up and be like, yo Matt, like you wanna hang out. Like, but first we have to, like, I don't need to come up.

To work out, like, be like, Hey, you just wanna come over? Yeah. Like, yeah, I'm gonna come over. It doesn't need to be absolutely. A workout. Obviously we love doing it, so we're probably gonna do it too. But like, and even the people that, like, I don't talk to as much. It's one of those things that if I met you in here and we were like, great friends while we were training or whatever, We can like run into each other industry and pick up right where we left off.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. It's just like that bond.

[00:12:11] David Syvertsen: You, you form. Yes. It's the common interest. Yeah. You Like you really do like being around people that are like-minded for sure. And it it's good for you. And I think that it enhances the experience at the gym, right? It's not, I I'm a firm believer that your experience at the gym will make the relationship stronger, but I also think the stronger, the relationship.

Outside the gym. It can improve your performance experience at the gym. Sam, any thoughts? Yeah,

[00:12:36] Sam Rhee: because I have friends, I have work friends. I have my relative friends. I have friends that I grew up with. I have friends from when I was in training, but this is a chosen, shared interest. Like I chose to be interested in fitness.

I chose to be interested in health. I chose to be interested in making myself. Better

health wise and CrossFit is a, I mean, I believe in the methodology. And then when you find other people with that who also care about being healthy and also care about fitness and performance and, and all these things that's a very powerful, common shared interest to have this isn't just because I showed up.

At work and we're sitting there nine to five every day. Like

[00:13:18] David Syvertsen: you have to, right? Like this was something that we

[00:13:21] Sam Rhee: all are very strongly interested in. And so when you share that kind of interest and like Dave said, it makes you better because we're not drinking buddies and we're not, Sitting there, just goofing off, like playing video games all day.

Th this is something that's making all of us better. And

[00:13:36] David Syvertsen: I think that, that that's powerful. Yeah. And that, another thing that I think is really powerful too, is the respect factor is especially with a workout program that is on the harder side. Again, CrossFit. Whatever group fitness program that you guys might be on that are listening.

I think there's a respect that, kind of like what they're going through. And we all know, like this stuff is very hard, right? And there are easier ways to be healthy and fit, but we, we chose this path and there's like, and you know, that like the, a lot of the same struggles that I go through within training and trying to get better.

Are the same exact things they've gone through and the same exact things you go through. And a lot of people will bring up well, it's different because it's this level of fitness or that level of fitness, but like one of the Greg Glassman's founding statements of, of cross, it was, we are all going through the same exact thing.

It's just different degrees. And I think that's something that a lot of people can, it's like a, this subconscious respect that we have for each other, that if you are use CrossFit as the example, obviously, if you're a cross, that's been it for a long time and I'm a, CrossFitter that's been going through it for a long time.

We've been through a lot of the same stuff and we came out better on the other side. And I think it's like this subconscious respect for people that do it. I really do. I think that kind of strengthens the bond even more so we can get even now a little bit more detailed with some of this relationship stuff, Matt, Nicole, like I said, they're married.

And we were just talking kind of small talking right before this episode. We don't know many, if any married couples that actually trained together. that's like when Sam said that, I'm like, yeah, there are he's like, do you ever train with Ash? I'm like, well, no do you ever train season? No. Like, and it it's Matt and Nicole trained together on a team.

Often they train together, I would say multiple days per week. And have done so for years mm-hmm what is that?

[00:15:22] Nicole Milone: Honestly don't really know much other because it has been so long. It's like, if there's a partner competition guy, girl, we're doing it. Mm-hmm , it's like, there's no thought that we're doing it with anyone else.

Unless Dave asked me

[00:15:37] Sam Rhee: don't want first.

[00:15:42] Nicole Milone: No, it's good. I mean, even just so when we were trying to. Get to regionals back in like 20 16, 20 17. And then when we finally got it. Yeah. It's like doing it together, getting that goal. It's just sweeter because like, yeah, you get to do it with your like boyfriend at the time. But just experiencing just everything that we have been able to experience together.

It's just better than, if he was like on the sidelines and just not doing it with me. Yeah. We get to experience it. But it's in a different, like

[00:16:11] Matt Milone: yeah, not deep. It's definitely not like always rainbows and butterflies too at the same time. Like, part of it is like, if you think about it, like if, if there's a day where, and.

If there's a day where I'm not working, she's not working. And like, we wake up, so it's like, we wake up and then we're gonna train together and then we're gonna have lunch. Like we're like always together, which is great. Like, I love you. Like, I love spending with this, but you know, it, everybody needs, you gotta go mad.

Everybody needs like their own time, like what I'm. But for some, like, we make it work. Yeah. And like, like she said, like, I don't know if it's because we don't know any different because mm-hmm, , that's when we first started team CrossFit, if you wanna call it mm-hmm , we've just always been training together.

Yeah. Like if, if I went like a week without training with her, I'd be like, well, like it's weird. Like what. Like we you're always like here, like where we trained together at some point, like what's going, mm-hmm so, yeah. You said

[00:17:03] Nicole Milone: it, the other, not to put you on the spot but were you when was it Friday?

Yeah, I couldn't get to the gym. Just like with work schedule and everything. I was just training in the driveway. So he is like, all right, I'm gonna go to the gym. And he's like, like, we're both like training at the same time. Just not together. We're like, it's lonely. Like we don't like

[00:17:18] Matt Milone: this,

[00:17:19] Sam Rhee: yeah.

I mean, I have to say, I was thinking about it. You two are probably the highest level athletes that I know that actually compete together. Like, I don't know anyone who's gone to two regionals together on a team as a couple, like we know people in elite CrossFit, like mm-hmm, Tia, Claire, Tomi, and Shane, or, but one's coaching, one's competing.

Yeah. Stuff like that. Like that happens a lot. One sort of the support. The other one is the competitor mm-hmm , but both of you guys, and I think it's very unique, cuz both of you guys are actually very well matched on an intensity level, a performance level a like-mindedness and it can happen, but I think it's just really unusual.

Like I think about Dave and Ash. And, you guys met during CrossFit mm-hmm they met during CrossFit, but how Dave and Ash approach CrossFit and what their goals are, their intensity levels, what they take out of it is very different. Mm-hmm do you know anyone else who is on that level that actually.

Our partners that compete at, this at that level, I don't think so, who have accomplished as much as they have and who are actually compatible and not like right. Killing themselves, like stabbing each other. I mean, Ben

[00:18:29] Matt Milone: and yeah. Yeah. We don't, we don't know them. Yeah. Uh, Two of our training partners from the 2016 team.

Yeah, those are probably two that I actually will give credit to. Like, they've done, they've gone to the games twice. Yeah, yeah. Twice on a team and, and they're a married couple, but again, they, they had like life changes. They recently had a kid like within he's a year old, like around a year. Yeah.

So, Ben continued, I'm sure to train while Deanna was pregnant and I'm sure she trained through pregnancy, but you obviously know it's obviously not the same right training. So, but those are the only two that I personally know. I think. That are a couple

[00:19:00] David Syvertsen: that made it work. So now do you think part of the reason why it does work between you two and what's worked between them is that you guys are very similar level athletes?

Like the question is, yeah. If one of you was really into the sport and, excelling Nicole, miss regionals by one spot as an individual, if Matt was more like, Hey, I'm here for the exercise program. I don't want to push myself to the point where I'm trying to compete. do you think you guys still could com I mean, this is all hypothetical, but do you think you could still train together and be as involved with each other within CrossFit?

If one of you is competing and one of you is not? I don't think so. Yeah. I don't. I mean, you think that's part of the reason why it's worth? Yeah, I'm

[00:19:38] Matt Milone: not, I don't want to say that it's going to work. Like when there's gonna be a point in time where one of us is gonna train and one of us isn't right, absolutely.

It's just gonna be, do I think like, oh my God, we're not gonna work. No, but from. A high level, like end. Yes. I think

[00:19:55] David Syvertsen: that's, that's a big, that's a big thing. Yeah. Yeah. That, yeah, that, that I've always been intrigued by. That is just from the outside. It's like, is that a main reason why you guys are compatible?

Not as a relationship, but it's just more as training partners. Mm-hmm is that you're on the same level because I know a lot of training partners, I've had training partners in the past. It wasn't necessarily about what level you were on. It was more about the intensity and the goal that you were pursuing.

Right? Mm-hmm like maybe someone was closer to that goal than the other, but they were still pursuing it. And it answered a lot of the questions in the gray area. Should I go this extra mile? Should I do this extra set? Should I put these extra five pounds on the bar? and the fact that you guys are both pursuing it at the same time, it probably made that a little easier.

Yeah. But if someone does need to take a step back for one, for a reason, at some point, for whatever reason does that change and will that change your programming or your approach, your training as an individual? I think

[00:20:45] Sam Rhee: it's actually, they've already made it work. For example, when we were talking before she follows maam track, mm-hmm he jumps in sometimes.

Yeah. But he also does his own thing. And so he is moving around. So they're actually adapting to their different preferences and styles. Yeah. But they're making it work in terms of actually working out together. They're both of them are not lockstep in what they're doing. Correct. Yeah. So I find that helpful for me because when I look at other people who both do CrossFit, they might be able to find.

Positives out of that. Like, if you wanna train together, you don't have to do the same thing. Mm-hmm , you can share some aspects of your training with each other, but then also jump off and do your own thing and still spend a lot of time

[00:21:30] David Syvertsen: doing your training. For sure. Yeah, for sure. I mean, similar to like you and, and Susan, right?

Like, let's talk about like, Susan is on the bison track and, and she's very diligent with next level. And, and. You're on the bison track as well at some point might hop on next level, but you do a lot of your own training as well. What's it like there because you guys have similar goals, right?

Similar experience levels. What is that like, in terms of like that, that training approach, like these guys are attached at the hit for the most part, when they train you and Susan are not Ash and I are not, Adam Melina are not right. Some of that's logistic based, but some of it is goal based. And some of it's like, Hey, I want the separation.

What's the thought?

[00:22:05] Sam Rhee: I think some of it is just a reflection of our personalities. Yeah. Like Susan is very disciplined, so. if you give her a programming track, she will follow it. And she's done that. Yes. With next level. Yeah. Like whatever programming you hand her for the week. Yeah. She will get it done.

Yeah. And I'm so not disciplined. and I don't like doing that. The other thing is, is that she is very durable. Like there's very few instances where she will get injured. Very true. And for me, it's like, you look at me funny and my back will go bad. so, so. Sort of worked around it and I figured out, well, okay.

I need to, do a little bit of this mm-hmm or maybe not so much of that, or so I kind of mess around a little bit with my programming. Okay. I think she's made honestly more progress over the past two years with what she's done than what I've done. Yeah. Okay. I'm still struggling to. Make some gains, which I have.

Okay. But they're, they're slow. Yep. Mm-hmm but if you see what she's done over the past two years, like yeah. She's her pulling strength. Yeah. Her pull strength, her rig work like double unders. Yeah. The, the difference is, is that I'm willing to try more. Things mm-hmm like, if you ask Susan, okay, we're gonna make you a faster runner because you're not really a fast runner.

She'll be like, Nope. I'm. She will, you will never like, because in her mind she's never gonna be a fast runner. She's never even gonna try. But with me, if you say, well, we'll try this with you. We'll try that. I mean, like, okay, I'll get a shot. We'll

[00:23:33] David Syvertsen: see. Yeah. So difference in personalities is where that's at.

Yeah. Yeah. Cool. All right. That was a good answer. I like that. How here's. Coaching your spouse, coaching someone you're in, in a tight relationship with, and doesn't even need to be like a designated eye coach at four, two fitness, yeah. Yeah. It can be more like, Hey, I really want to help you out with this movement.

This style of workout, your engine, your breathing, your approach. It can go in so many different directions. Are you guys able to do that for each other at all? No.

[00:24:01] Matt Milone: yeah.

[00:24:01] Nicole Milone: I actually get really annoyed when the only, yeah, like this workout we were just doing, I was about to tell him to shut up anyone could be cheering me on, except that

[00:24:12] Matt Milone: I

[00:24:12] Sam Rhee: don't know why know what the, what

[00:24:13] Matt Milone: the deal is at that I

[00:24:14] David Syvertsen: don't.

Why were you cheering her on or you trying to coach her like. How to do something like,

[00:24:19] Matt Milone: like you're at 99, like let's go get moving. Yeah.

[00:24:21] Nicole Milone: Yeah. Like you could say that I'd be completely fine. I don't know what it is. Yeah. And it's always been like

[00:24:26] Matt Milone: that.

[00:24:27] David Syvertsen: I , yeah. I mean that, that, that's probably what most related.

I mean, I've always had a hard time coaching Ash and wait, do you have a whole,

[00:24:34] Sam Rhee: or does she have a hard time being coached

[00:24:36] David Syvertsen: by you? She has a hard time being coached by me, but it's not necessarily an ego thing. I think we just always, at some point start to argue about something. It's like, well, you didn't know, like you didn't say that.

Like, and like, we always joke about this. Like I could. Same exact thing that Adam ran to and say to her, and it would click and she's like, she would come home. Like Adam told me to do this on my bus. And I'm just like told you that two years ago. but I do think it's funny how there's, that's where I think the separation can help sometimes where you're not around the person at all times, because there is stuff that can get petty, like stop cheering for me.

Like, I mean, Ash will. I mean, she's told me to shut the F up like a hundred times over has told me that a couple times, like, Hey, you gotta, when I'm telling her to do something, but I remember I will say this though, in a serious situation, not like a, fun workout like that. I do think there is that mutual respect, no matter what, like, like I remember Ash really wanted to redo that open workout, this 22.1, the wall.

Dumbbell snatch box jump over. She just knew she could do better. Friday nights are always tough for us to work out cause we run the open party. And so I came in, I drew out this whole plan for her and I said like, you're gonna listen to me. When I tell you to go to the wall walk, you're gonna listen to me when I tell you to dumbbell.

And like, I don't care how comfortable. And I think that's the most I've ever like yelled at her in a workout. Like I would anyone else in the gym going after work I get, and I normally don't like yell at her when she's working. Different personality. Also, my wife also, I have to go home with her, so it's like, but that, I do think in a serious situation where if the Kama really needs to get a strong message to Nicole about like something that was like a qualifier workout, mm-hmm , there would be none of that, like the petty stuff.

Like I do think that there is that mutual respect and I think the same thing that happened with you and Susan too.

[00:26:14] Sam Rhee: Yeah, she's asked for my opinion for

[00:26:15] David Syvertsen: stuff. I remember that workout. You went really dark on 20. 19.1, the ground, the overhead bar facing burpee. Like that was the hardest I've ever seen you go.

But Susan was the one. Screaming at you telling you to suck it up and like, you don't get mad at her because that workout meant something. I couldn't hear her

[00:26:31] Sam Rhee: cause of the pain that deafened me. Cause I was so, so much in pain. And you thought it was effing? Hilarious. I have the video.

[00:26:38] David Syvertsen: You were dumb over and laughter

[00:26:40] Sam Rhee: when she was screaming in my face.

So I just don't hear it. It doesn't bother me when she yells at me. I was just gonna

[00:26:45] Matt Milone: ask, let me ask you two, like, does it bother you when Susan cheers for you or like, or said something and

[00:26:51] Sam Rhee: no, it, I mean, Yes. And no, like, I know it's coming from a good place. Uhhuh uh, most of the time I'm in so much pain that I'm just thinking mm-hmm, , I'm just in pain.

Like just leave me alone. Yeah. Like, I don't really want anyone cheering for me, period. Okay. Much less Susan, honestly, but I don't mind it. And I, like I said, I know she just really wants me to push. Okay. Get your best. Yeah. And I'm, I'm totally

[00:27:15] David Syvertsen: fine with that. Okay. I have no problem. I can hear Ash above anyone anywhere.

Like, and you like it, or? Yeah, I'm totally like, I totally like it. It's whether it's at 9 0 8 semifinals here it's usually like, what are you doing? Like, why, why are you going faster? That kind stuff cheering. But like I do, like I do. I think sometimes I do respond better to that kind of. Support.

It's not always like clapping your hands. You're doing great. It's more like, yo, you gotta, like, you have to go faster here. Like, why are you slowing down? What are you doing? That kind of stuff. And she is like that. But yeah, I mean, if it's like a normal workout on a Thursday afternoon and I'm just tired, right?

Yeah. Like I don't want to hear it then. Mm-hmm yeah. It brings back like, just like nightmares of being home, telling like, why didn't you put the laundry away or something like that? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's all I,

[00:27:56] Matt Milone: and to be fair at like the big level calms. When we're not together. So like guap, Paso, like we're on two separate teams.

Like it's no, like nothing's better than looking up. Like before you got the start seeing like your significant other, like to cheer you on. So I don't think, I mean, she'll might say something different. I don't care what she says during workouts. Like sometimes she's like, alright, like get back on it. I was like, well, I can't get back on it.

That's why

[00:28:17] David Syvertsen: I came down. That's why I've seen you guys. You guys are like great with like your nonverbal communication with each other. Like, like sometimes you guys will yell at each other during an open workout call, far workout. Like you guys both do like do the eye roll. Like I it's like you start almost like arguing on the middle.

But you think I know that I think like I can see Matt being like that kind. Like, don't you think I know that already, like , but that, those, again, like, I think that's something that like just strengthens your relationship and strengthens your bond even further. And I, I think those are experiences that a lot of people that.

Are not in the fitness space or they're not in the group fitness space or you don't do cross it with each other. It's like one less thing you guys can really relate to. And I, I just think I really do. I think it's a huge party relationship. You guys already know that, but I think it's maybe the even bigger part because that bond is so tight.

Yeah. I just, I don't

[00:29:05] Sam Rhee: want to leave out the people who don't have their significant others who are in the CrossFit space because we have a lot of members who most, this is their.

Escape their getaway. Yes, exactly. And this is like you said, people sometimes need their time alone and this is their time alone.

Yeah. And their significant others will show up for events and stuff and be. These guys

[00:29:24] David Syvertsen: are crazy. Yeah.

[00:29:26] Matt Milone: If you don't know what you're stepping, especially like they're showing up probably for like the B or like something where people are

[00:29:31] Nicole Milone: killing already elevated.

[00:29:33] Matt Milone: And they're probably like

[00:29:34] Sam Rhee: what goes on here.

That's exactly right. But I would, I will say that most of the time the spouses are fairly understanding. They realize that this is again, something that's good for you. Mm-hmm it is about fitness and it's about improving yourself. Yeah. it is true. I think some significant others find it a little bit challenging if you start spending a lot of time fair at the gym that like, it's like a golf widow or someone else.

Yeah. Like you have to sort of figure out that mm-hmm balance. And is it ideal if you can, like, I brought Susan into CrossFit. She was a Pilates bootcamp person. Yeah. Mm-hmm and it's it does make our lives. Richer to be able to share so much more together for sure.

[00:30:13] Matt Milone: Like, do you guys, I was gonna say too, like me and Nicole, like going back, like we just understand each other, like, she gets it, like, if I'm like, Hey, like I need to go to the gym or like, I need an extra half hour. She be like, well, you need to be home. Need to have dinner. Although she does get, she doesn't eat six 30.

Like, let go. So

[00:30:31] David Syvertsen: I'm sure you

[00:30:32] Matt Milone: guys like understand, right? Like.

[00:30:34] David Syvertsen: If, yes, there's a different level of understanding if like something, if something's bothering you,

[00:30:39] Sam Rhee: are you kidding me every night? Susan's like, my traps are hurting so much. Like,

[00:30:44] David Syvertsen: we, when, whenever we have a member here, Chris and I have always done this, when we, when we have a person that's been a member for years, And then all of a sudden that's when like, so my wife or husband wants to try mm-hmm we both look at each other, like this could be good or bad mm-hmm because like, you do want the separation, but that's on the bad side, on the good side. It can just really strengthen the bond and give you guys something else to do together, or at least have in common. And I do think that. Those conversations, like what Sam's talking about. Like there's a level of understanding, especially if you're both very dedicated to CrossFit or group training or exercise, doesn't need to be anything about sport or competing. It's. You, you, you get, there's like a mutual kind of just under underlying understanding that goes on where if you're really stressed out about a workout, your body's really hurting you. And it's gonna prevent you from the workout where if someone you were married with or, a good friend, they don't like some of my good friends don't understand some of the stress that goes in with training and you can't even talk to 'em.

Some of the times, the best way to cope with your issues is to talk about it. And if you don't have those people, it can really just stir up some extra stress. I think

[00:31:47] Nicole Milone: it also like it could push you cuz like, if you think about it, a lot of people that come home from work, they don't wanna go to the gym.

But if you have a significant other that you're gonna take class with or already went to the gym, Like you're gonna be pushed and wanna go, instead of just being like, ah, I'll go tomorrow, just go home and not work out. So I think it's that plus side too. Absolutely.

[00:32:07] Sam Rhee: If Susan's gone three or four times already that week, and I've only gone two, like I do feel like mm-hmm yeah.

I should get myself bringing the average down and

[00:32:15] Matt Milone: again, just touching off of it. Doesn't have to be your significant other, it's that bond you make, like I'm sure most of your members. Hey, I take the six o'clock class or like you're five, like, so, like, Hey, that's my group. So like, if you haven't gone, it doesn't necessarily need to be your significant, like, I can't let my, my classmates down if you wanna call it that, or my group that I've bonded so true.

[00:32:34] David Syvertsen: There's people at this gym that. Are very reliant on each other, showing up to a certain class mm-hmm and like, I remember, like, I remember talking to Elena about this when Ryan Ratcliff moved to Texas, like that was a hard thing for her. They were just literally just training partners at 6:00 AM and they always got after it with each other and that was it, and then when he moved to Texas, like that was a hard thing. And so. Before he moved. If someone couldn't come in, for whatever reason, you almost left that person hanging and you don't wanna do that.

[00:33:00] Sam Rhee: Let me ask you guys this, because all, all of you guys had met your partners. through CrossFit.

Mm-hmm what was the, and now you can probably talk about it now a little bit more safely, but what was the dating situation like? Like we have a more mature gym. We have more parents and, and older members. Mm-hmm , not like 20, like we have some 20 year olds, but not, not a ton. What was the dating situ like, did you date a lot of CrossFit people before you guys met each other?

Or like, What was that all about?

[00:33:29] Matt Milone: Yeah.

[00:33:31] David Syvertsen: I mean, I'll go first because, but like Ash and I did actually not meet through CrossFit. We met through a CrossFit friend but we didn't meet at the gym. Oh, right. we met, we met at the beer garden, but I met through a CrossFit friend. So I was out with that guy because I've met him at CrossFit.

So I guess yeah. CrossFit can get the credit. But then I did, that was the first thing I did. With her, it was like, get her to the gym, and like, she was dating someone at the time. So I did not intrude on that and planted the seed though. But the, but I had her, but she did, she wanted to try the workout program.

So I was like, all right, let's come to the free class next week. And so that was kind of, um, meeting, but the, the dating scene at CrossFit Hoboken was pretty aggressive. Like there, you had a lot of people there. Between the 25 to 30 range, a lot of them single, a lot of like that Hoboken lifestyle. Mm-hmm it, it was like a, a catch 22. Like it bonded people together, but when it didn't work out, it made some people leave the gym. Yeah. And that, that happened a lot back then at CrossFit Hoboken. Wow.

[00:34:25] Nicole Milone: Yeah. I never really dated anyone like in the CrossFit kind of scene, but I always knew, especially the more I got into CrossFit that I.

Knew I needed to date someone at CrossFit, cuz it was becoming such a big part of my life. And I was in the gym, like I was addicted to just getting to the gym. Yeah. And doing competitions. I'm like, where's all my extra time gonna be, if my significant other isn't doing CrossFit, it's like, how am I gonna spend time with them?

So I knew, I don't know if it was subconsciously or what, but like that I needed someone that was also in that like lifestyle and wanted that lifestyle. And I think that's like going back to it. I think that's why we do. So well together, like as training partners because that's like just what we enjoy

[00:35:06] Matt Milone: to do.

Yeah. Yeah. I don't, I don't think I dated like anyone seriously, like in the CrossFit space, because I basically met her. Yeah. Right around when, I guess yeah. Like maybe like, a year or two after I started really getting into CrossFit. So,

[00:35:21] David Syvertsen: yeah. I mean, you could also just almost agree with her that like, or how, how much did you agree with her that you would have to.

I don't, I hate the word you have to, but you would likely date someone in the CrossFit space because you were so into it.

[00:35:34] Matt Milone: Yeah. I mean, especially back then. Not that I, I definitely devoted more time back then. Mm-hmm which Nicole always likes to point out. Like we never do as much as we used to is up for debate.

[00:35:44] Nicole Milone: At times I was

[00:35:47] Matt Milone: trainings of training. Like, unless the only way it would work out is like, if my significant other. Was the most understanding human in the world. Like, Hey, you're gonna spend like an again, which I don't really do anymore, but like an hour and a half, two hours. It's a gym five days a week.

Yeah. That you're gonna be at the gym. And like, that means not with your significant other yeah.

[00:36:03] David Syvertsen: Or even like the social stuff. Like, oh, we can't go out and drink tonight because we have a comp tomorrow, big training day

[00:36:09] Matt Milone: tomorrow. Yeah. Yeah. Like we both appreciate going to bed early and we're not big drinkers.

So again, that kind of works out. Whereas like we have friends like who are still, which, to each their own, but like they want to go out at, whatever we're 2020. 30 like, Hey, like let's go out to this bar or like Morristown, like I just don't know how they do that anymore. So I'm glad that,

[00:36:27] Nicole Milone: and just eating healthy.

I don't know. I'm just the entire, all

[00:36:30] Matt Milone: around circle. We have a lot of similarities. Yeah. Like a lot that just make things

[00:36:34] David Syvertsen: work easy. Yeah. That's interesting. Yeah. That's, that's a good, good thing to talk about. I mean, you and Susan, the same thing, right? I mean, you guys are such healthy eaters because, and it's not just because cross it, but you have said cross it.

Helped you learn a lot about nutrition, lifestyle, real health. And because you guys are both doing that, you don't have one person that's not living healthy. And then the other person that is trying to live healthy like that, that, that's a really tough yes. Thing to navigate. If one PA person's on that page, the other is not, I've seen

[00:37:01] Sam Rhee: that.

I've seen it's possible people. Well, it's hard. I think I will say there are some people who do go to CrossFit where there's significant other, other is not in CrossFit, but it actually has sort of pushed that significant other to find. Another. Alternative way of staying healthy. So maybe they do another sport or maybe they do something else.

Right. Uh, I have seen where that's, it was such a significant difference that it actually broke the relationship. Yeah. But it would've broken probably mm-hmm across any other conflict or not shared interest. Right. I mean, with Susan and I, we. So many challenges here at bison, like the nutritional challenges that you don't even realize it, but if you track macros or you go paleo for a while, it slowly changes your food, your personal nutrition, and how you feel about eating and.

at this point, it's almost automatic, like, yeah,

[00:37:58] David Syvertsen: we, the way we manage carbs or,

[00:38:01] Sam Rhee: or sweets or this, I mean, we don't stop and we don't go strict paleo or for anything, but for sure. But we have very defined ways of what we know is eating clean.

Yeah. And we're pretty much on the same

[00:38:14] David Syvertsen: page. That's great for all of that stuff. Yeah. All right. Well, anything else on this guys? All right. Well, thank you, Matt, Nicole, for coming on for two episodes. It was great to have you guys on last week and great again to have you on today, and we'll probably have you on, on again at some point, and we will let Nicole create the workout before we do that.

[00:38:32] Matt Milone: Yeah. Please. Thanks. Thanks

[00:38:34] Sam Rhee: for having us guys. Yeah. Thank you.