S02E69 MENTAL HEALTH IN CROSSFIT AND FITNESS TRAINING PART 3

In CrossFit and fitness training, we focus on the health and capability of our bodies. What about our minds and our mental health? We wrap up this special series with guest Sean O'Hara @sopiper38 @crossfitbison athlete and police officer to discuss his personal experiences using physical fitness to help improve our mental physical well-being.

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S02E69 MENTAL HEALTH IN CROSSFIT AND FITNESS TRAINING PART 3

[00:00:00] David Syvertsen: All right. Welcome back to the, her hit podcast. I am coach David SSON. I'm here with Dr. And coach Sam. And we are here for episode three, with bison beast, Sean O'Hara Sean. Thanks again for coming back for the third week in a row wearing the same exact outfit as last week. How are you? And. Welcome back to your third episode of the herd fit podcast.

You're doing

[00:00:20] Sean O'Hara: well. Thanks for having me back. I, this is, this has been a great time, so I'm happy to do it. I'm happy to wear the same clothing and you know, don't fix what's broken, right? That's right.

[00:00:28] David Syvertsen: Hell yeah. All right. So we, we're gonna wrap up this mental health little series that we're on. This is episode number three of that, like I just said, and we really kind of got into the weeds and I it's been great talking to Sean about it and just getting some of his experiences and trying to tie it to all of you that are listening.

We're gonna wrap this up with. Some things that we feel can really do to help you with any potential mental health issues you're dealing with right now, or you inevitably will deal with at some point, right? Like nobody is immune to this. I think everyone needs to know that we all go through good cycles and bad cycles of life.

And I always say, don't get too happy when you're in your good cycles, because it's gonna come to an. But try not to get too upset about the bad cycles. And I think a lot of that's just gonna, that that's a lot of where this conversation is gonna gear towards is at some point when you are in a bad cycle, you know, the gym line is I'm in a rut, right.

It can go a lot deeper than what what's going on here, but how do you cope with these? What can we do to combat them? What can you expect? When it actually comes your way, what to look for? So. You know, using the gym or not using the gym, Sean opening thoughts on this topic on everyday things, everyday things that people could do to help themselves

[00:01:43] Sean O'Hara: and others.

So one of the first things you hit off right off the top is that everybody deals with this, whether they wanna admit to it or not, whether it's on a minor scale or a major scale, everybody, no matter what is gonna have some sort of mental health issues mental health, just the in. You have a mental health, whether it's good, it's bad.

Everybody goes through some, some high points, some low points. So we're all there with the same type of aspects of that. Realizing that is, is firstly a big step of just realizing that you have ups, you have downs and then the person next you has ups and downs and, and. That is that's crucial just to know that it's not just you mm-hmm everybody goes through something very similar in terms of, in terms of that.

So how we interact with people, how we treat people, how we treat ourselves is going to dictate how we move forward in terms of addressing our mental health for. There

[00:02:42] Sam Rhee: are various manifestations. And I'm so glad that we have Sean, who's been willing to talk about his own issues and how he's managed them.

And I know we all do, but it can range. It can be something really, really, really severe. And I've only seen a few people personally, where I've, it's gotten to that point where. It required a lot of expert help, a lot of professional help people who needed to really seek serious. Treatment sometimes.

And, that's where I would say, if you recognize that you yourself right now have issues or have something that you feel like you can't cope. I mean, some of what we talk about will be helpful for a lot of people, but at the end of the day, and this is, again, my sort of legal thing is like seek professional advice.

Yes. Mm-hmm , don't let it fester, don't say. Dave said, eat kale and broccoli and work out and, and do Fran. And so now I'll, I'll be better. Like that's, that's not what we're saying here. I'm not a

[00:03:41] David Syvertsen: professional .

[00:03:42] Sam Rhee: So I would just say, these are some examples that have helped me mm-hmm help Sean help Dave.

Sure. But just recognize that there's just a whole variety of different situations and it's just information.

[00:03:55] David Syvertsen: So, so one, one of the things that we really feel like can help you. Necessarily avoid mental health struggles because I don't think it's possible. Right, right. But cope with them and maybe lessen the blow that can come from mental health issues is trying to personally connect with people.

Yes. And this is coming from someone that I am on the introverted side, and I do like to be whether you can call it alone time. I don't know if it's documented anxiety, but I do. I am in my happiest, most comfortable state when I'm by myself. Right. Or with a very small group of people like this. Right. But my wife will tell me, she goes like, I think you're more extroverted than you think.

And I think what she means by that. And I agree with her is. when I am going through something, it always helps me to be around people that, you know, care about me that I respect that I know have best interests in mind that have been through things like this. Right. Mm-hmm even talking about, this is also helping me, yeah.

Talking about this. Right. So there is a personal connection and I do think we should all put some effort into putting ourselves out there into environments like this, like across a gym, a church group a social circle. Because I think the more interpersonal interactions you have with people. The more doors open to how do I solve my internal issues?

[00:05:07] Sean O'Hara: Yep. So, part of what we talk about, especially in CrossFit, and I know it's been on this show several times is get comfortable being uncomfortable. Mm-hmm . And to say that to an introvert or somebody with high anxiety is a very difficult thing to do. And the important thing to realize about that is not necessarily to rush into uncomfortable situations, but we have what we call control.

Uncomfortable situations. So we take the gym for instance, is joining a gym. And if you are an introvert and you have some high anxiety and you're joining a community for you're an outsider coming into a community in the gym that can be stressful and high and, and anxious. Hell enough, hell, hell yeah. But you're here for an hour.

So we start to sit there and say, okay, now you've made the first step of joining the gym. So now we're uncom. it's now, but you're, you're uncomfortable. Only lasts an hour. You can be out that door. You do not have to stay a minute after the wad is done. Right. You can leave. You don't have to sit there and interact with people or anything else like that.

Get yourself to the gym. There, there was a saying, I just heard the other day. It says, if you do hard things, life is easy. If you do easy things, life is hard. So if you start to put yourselves in some of those position, how is it in a month? You're going to feel comfortable going to the gym. You're going to start to get involved in that community.

You're gonna start to understand what that community is about. Maybe it's not for you. Yeah. so you've learned that now I need to go and find another place. I've learned what I don't like, what doesn't work for me now. It's easier. Now I can find something that I, that I do, like that will work for me. You know, maybe it's not CrossFit.

Maybe it is a body building gym. Maybe it is a, another aspect of fitness that works with the, and that community. I relate to more mm-hmm orange, three orange, right? Exactly. Any, any one of those? I'm a big proponent of. Do what works for you because what works for me may not work for you. So put yourself in a controlled, uncomfortable situation, and that will start to help you.

with maybe some of the anxiety or some of the things that you're dealing with, whether it is anxiety, a little bit of depression, a little bit of, you know, social anxiety, whatever the case may be is if, cuz if you never do, you'll never address the problem. Right.

[00:07:22] David Syvertsen: And that just opens up different routes to the solution.

Right. And I think one of the things that I've, I've been a big advocate of is saying thank you. And being grateful makes you a happier person and you have written on here. It's. you know, when you leave the gym, right. Like saying thank you. You know, like I shouldn't be saying this cause I'm the coach. But like, when I will say, when people leave the gym and they, and they say, thank you, right.

It immediately brings me up. It's like, and when I'm brought up, my next class will now reap the benefits of that. But I also think when you say thank you and you're not just doing it because you're supposed to, you're actually thankful for what you just received. Right. You're thankful for the community, not even thankful for the coach.

Right. thankful for that. You just got to spend an hour at the gym with people that are great people. You got to work out, you're working on your physical health, mental health, right? When you are actually more incredibly grateful for what you have in front of you, it's going to make you a happier person.

No question

[00:08:20] Sean O'Hara: for sure. I, I remember a little while ago you mentioned, you talked about somebody came up to you and said, Dave, why did you stop saying people's names before. At the whiteboard before the CLA at the whiteboard, before the class and something, as small as that reaches out to people, it's a feeling of inclusion.

It's a feeling of recognizing them connection, connection, and everything else like that. And again, Dave, didn't come up with this. I do have this on the outline that I said to him. So he's, he's not very so as an athlete At the end of class, and this is something I have done since I was in high school and high school and college.

And then when I went back to coach high school across for a long time of every. There is a sense of accountability. There is a sense of connection. There is a sense of community when you are done with your workout, with your practice, whatever it is, you go up to each coach, you look them in the eye, you give them a handshake and you say, thank you.

And you are thanking them for a myriad of reasons. You are expressing your gratitude for being able to. Being physically able to play mentally able to play, have the means for thanking the coach for their time. Coach is now thanking you for the time and effort that you put into the class. It, it, it goes a long way and it's 10 seconds of your day.

It's two words out of your mouth and the amount of positivity that it projects. Both. Both, both people, the coach. Yeah. And the athlete. It's tremendous effect of what it can do to you. And it's 10 seconds in two words. Yeah.

[00:09:55] David Syvertsen: Yeah. Why, why don't we do it more often? Like, why wouldn't we, yeah.

[00:09:57] Sam Rhee: Right. I agree.

I try to say thank you every time, because I have a greater appreciation now as a coach for other coaches mm-hmm , some days I feel like I don't really deserve the thank you though. I will say like, I try to give my best performance, but I know some days I'm not at my best as a coach. This is some of the anxiety I have as a coach.

I always feel like there are certain things that I like. For example, logistically LA like a couple weeks ago on a Wednesday, the first part was a Imam toaster bar, and then the rest was. Uh, Running in some other stuff. Yep. And I didn't assign people to bar height because I forgot that on the toast of bar, they really need to do, you were thinking about ring rows, not and ring rows and everything else.

I assigned three people and three people and I was like, oh man, they would be much better if we flipped them. And did it the other way, these guys go over here, these guys over here. And so the middle of the, like at the beginning of the workout, I'm. Yeah, messing around. It's like the logistics were a nightmare.

Yeah. And 5:00 AM usually has maybe like 14 to 18. Yeah. But it was like 20 some people that day. Yeah. It's tough. And I was just like, my mind was exploding. Yeah. And I felt. Man, I don't really deserve that. Thank you today. I really kind of effed up and then I really put a lot of effort into the six and 7:00 AM and I felt like, okay, now you can thank me for those classes.

[00:11:19] David Syvertsen: But even that, like, I, I think that the effort and thought that you're putting into it, like, that's why it's like one of the, the bars here is pretty high to coach because you have to genuinely care. If you didn't really care, be like, oh, sucks for them. Like you, you were probably stressing out. And I think someone.

Maybe not in that moment, not that clash should be thankful for it, but the fact that you care and here you are a couple weeks later talking about it. Yeah. Right. And try and like, you know, and you're probably gonna try to fix that issue for the last time. Like that's part of what you want people to be thankful for.

It's not just the moment. It's the underlying big picture. And I am gonna try to improve my performance as a coach so that your experience is better. I could just stay like in my zone. and just have you keep paying your membership and I'll be fine. Right. Cause you're not going anywhere. Right? Like you have all your friends here, like you're all gonna work out together, but no, I want to be better just for the sake of being better.

I just recently got asked on another podcast. What's the goal for bison for the next five years. And I was like, make it better. There's no other answer. And that's part of what we want people to know. about us as coaches is we want the experience for you to be better because there's a spillover. Like what Sean was just talking about the spillover to someone, wanting to make their classes better.

As a coach is gonna help the athlete get their experience and then the athletes in a better move, they make the person next to them better. And it's. That's what has built bison from the beginning's the

[00:12:35] Sam Rhee: spillover? I think some of the if I have a lot of anxiety, especially if you're an athlete and you come in and you have a lot of anxiety about, about coming in for a class, some of what helps me as a coach is alright.

If I just focus on helping the athletes, I'll be. Some of that dissipates. And I think as an athlete, when you come in, if you're not just saying, okay, this is about me, but let me see, what can I do as a person to help make the class a little bit better, say hello to people. Like, not just make it about me.

Some of that anxiety might actually dissipate because you're like, it's, I'm not gonna worry so much about myself, but how am I gonna make it a little bit better for the person next to me or, or my friend who might be showing up or someone else. And I think that. That can be helpful to not just focus on what it is that you're thinking about.

[00:13:25] Sean O'Hara: Absolutely. There's, there's a million different examples that each one of us can put there and, and think about when we were an athlete and when someone who may well I'll use the term acquaintance, not, not even that we're friends with that we may not be close to just came up and. Took five seconds outta their day and says, wow, you're really, you're really pouring sweat.

You must have really hammered that workout. Yeah. And then, you know, okay, thanks. And now you're sitting there for a second. It's like, how did that make me feel? Yeah. Like, like how did I feel after there's one person who, you know, did doesn't really know me? Doesn't owe me anything. Doesn't owe me a conversation or a fist bump or anything else.

Like that just comes up to me and says, wow. You know, you really worked your ass off on that workout and it, it, it it's those little things, especially to people who are new. Yeah. Especially to people who are introverted, especially to people who think maybe they didn't have a good workout because they can't look at it from the outside and sit there and say, well, maybe it wasn't a good workout to your standards, but for objectively, for me as a coach, as I look at you, you improved so much on this movement, that movement, maybe it wasn't the time you got mm-hmm but you moved a lot better.

Right. You know, you got through your workout. That means a tremendous amount. To somebody's just wellbeing and, and mental health of just that particular workout and moment. I

[00:14:46] David Syvertsen: agree. And it's kind of cool to kind of remove yourself from your own mental health sometimes because this topic like, right. It's not only about how can you help yourself.

Mm-hmm how can you help others? Right. Right. Like the big part of what the culture is here, right. Is if we all help each other out, we're all gonna be, get, you know, receive help and we all need help. Right. no. Now is something that you could do yourself. And I wanna ask you about this listing, the good things do you actually mean physically?

Or in this Aero type on, you know, a list of good things for you to kinda look at tangibly and say, you know what? I do have a lot in my life right now. That's lined up pretty well.

[00:15:23] Sean O'Hara: So, so that varies from person to person. It kind of, you can list them in your head. You can list them, you can write them down, you can type them out.

You can talk to somebody about them. I'm gonna bring up an instance where I actually did this and I don't even, I don't even know if you actually know this. I'll take you back to this was. three years ago in October or November, I typed out a letter and this was, it was a year at bison and I typed I'm exactly talking about it.

I typed out a letter and I put it in an envelope and I didn't sign it. There's no name on it. And I typed out it was about a page letter and I put it on the desk. It was during the class, nobody was around and everything. I just left it on the desk and it was addressed to all of the bison coaches. And it was a letter expressing my gratitude.

Where I was before I was at bison where I was a year into bison, where I was mentally, physically, emotionally, socially, it covered a lot of aspects. And I, at the time I was embarrassed. Cause I didn't wanna put my name out. I was still new. Yep. But I wanted people to understand what they were doing here mattered.

And I don't necessarily know cuz I'm, I'm an athlete. I'm not a coach here or anything else like that is. Help the coaches understand the magnitude at, at for what they. Where maybe it doesn't seem to them. And, and again, correct me if I'm wrong with some of this stuff, but maybe at times it doesn't seem like they're affecting people as much as they actually are.

Yeah. You know? Okay. We're here for fitness and, you know, we have a little bit of a community, but when we can sit there and say that we actually significantly help somebody with their mental health issues yeah. That we significantly help people with some of their actual health nutritional physical issues to the point where they've lost 30 pounds, they're off medication.

They're not dealing with the same problems. It's a tremendous uplift to, to sit there and just look at that and say, wow, I was actually part of that. I was responsible for that. And I wanted to convey that and that felt so good for me to let somebody else know that they made an environment and made something and made a tremendous difference in a short period of time.

And I think that felt good for me. And I could only imagine. What the feeling was for the coaches when they read that letter as to sit there and say, do

[00:17:37] David Syvertsen: you remember that, Sam? I think I, I read it at a coach's meeting. Yeah. Yeah.

[00:17:41] Sam Rhee: And I think we didn't know who wrote it

[00:17:43] David Syvertsen: at the time we had a lot of guesses.

I don't think Sean was one of . No, he was not. So mystery is so, so there you that's though. Really cool. Yeah.

[00:17:51] Sean O'Hara: But that's something, that's something that can help you personally with your mental health. Yeah. And that's something that can help a lot of other people because a lot of times people don't sometimes, and we talked about this before is we don't know that we're helping or hurting somebody at times unless we sit there and cognitively think about it.

So when it's brought to our attention and we sit there and say, wow, what I'm doing is working now. I think that, especially in this gym, what we'll see is. Wow. That's gonna actually encourage me to make, like you say, make things better to keep going to, to improve. Yeah, because now this is a catalyst and that's gonna.

Coaches mental health. That's gonna help other people. That's only going to build up the mental health and it's going to have a domino effect, 100%, so many, so many people I

[00:18:34] David Syvertsen: can tell you that after I read it, but then also read it to the coaches. You like it wasn't, you know, like I shot guys, like we were like, let's go, let's go let let's do.

Let's get better at this. Like, this is making a bigger impact, right? Then then people think, right. And again, we, you never take individual credit. It's the gym, it's the culture. It's the people, right? It's the feel that you have here. So you have to make, you have to keep that going. And I feel like the second you take your foot off the gas, it disappears.

Right. So you should never feel overly content or like yep. We made it. Yeah. And, but like having that in our, like you go one of two ways you take that as like, wow, like we crush it. All right, let's go get a drink and celebrate like all this actually is making the impact that we want it to. It's only because of the actions of everyone.

Right? Correct. And like that it, so it helps you to write it out. Mm-hmm but it also, again, it helps other people to see it and actually motivates them to do it better. Right. So that's where I think, like you say here, like you wanna share, like talk to people, have conversations. We talked about this in the previous episode that talking with these people about this, like you putting yourself out there, Sean, and doing these, these three episodes with us, it is helping you talk about it and it's helping you, you know, in, in a different life than just thinking about it at home.

Right. But it's also helping the people that are listening that it's actually gonna get, motivate them to maybe tar taking the steps that you did to, to combat any sort of mental health

[00:19:59] Sean O'Hara: issue. Right. Exactly. And, and like I said, it's, it's, we start with. Voicing it to ourselves. Yep. That's gonna be your first, your, your first step is, is talking to yourself about it.

Then maybe it's talking to your, or maybe it's putting it on paper. Maybe it's not even talked about something. Maybe it's a piece of paper, a diary a diary, a journal. We talk about fitness and nutrition journals here. A lot about keeping track and part of this can be keeping track of we sometimes we lose sight and we focus on so many negative things that.

You know, we have this saying of somebody, somebody was, was rude to you for 10 seconds outta your day. Do you take that 10 seconds to categorize your day as a bad day? Or do you have all the rest of that time said there's no, that was a good day. And how we have to think about that of, of just kind of how we view.

negatives and positives, and this can help guide you if you're having issues, looking at looking at your life in the past day, in the past week, in the past month to sit there and say, well, what am I thankful for? What was, what was I impacted by this person really helped me out. Maybe they didn't even know it.

Maybe I need to tell them that, you know, Hey, thanks. This, this was, this was really helpful for me. You know, maybe you did something and had no idea that you did it and it made such an impact on somebody, you know, To, to, to give you a guide. So you don't lose track and you don't fall into the, the focusing on the negatives focusing on, wow.

I had a really bad workout today, but I have a healthy family. I'm going to a job. I, you know, I come home from work and, and my kids are happy to see me. And we had a family dinner for the first time in a couple months, cuz everybody's schedule lined up. And it's amazing

[00:21:37] David Syvertsen: how, how many of our pros, how many of us are pros that way are cons by like by 10 times the amount?

Oh, a hundred percent. Yes. I'm you know, dealing with a couple things at the gym right now. It's where I don't know if that is always in the front of people's minds because you, you kind of wake up and you're like, right. What's wrong with today. What's wrong with my day today. What's wrong with my workout today?

How often do you really go on the other side of it and say like, all right, for every one thing I can come up with that sucks for my life, which it really does not suck. Right. Right. I can come up with 10 things that are positive. Right. But we don't think about those because we used to 'em we take 'em for granted.

Right. And I. Writing them down, like you're saying would be a good exercise for some that if you feel like you're in this cycle of happy, sad, happy, sad, happy, sad, really sad, kind of happy, really, really sad. Right. You know, write stuff down and, and start to understand that maybe it could be as simple as we're not grateful enough.

And I'm not saying that's an issue. That's, that's the solution for everyone. it, sometimes it takes something other than just your thoughts to realize this and a physical list of things on a piece of paper could be that solution. Yeah, absolutely. And just conversations with other people that don't always need to be the people that are closest to in your life, because.

chances are that people that you are closest with in your life, you can pretty much predict what they're gonna say back to you. Right. sometime. And that can, that can go two ways. Yeah. That can really shut off your reaction. Even if that person's right. Mm-hmm , they're not right. initially right. Like in your head, they won't.

So if you talk to a new perspective, someone you're not that close with, then you open up and like, I actually think you would do a better job of listening to what their feedback is. Or you would have less of a guard. Right. Like, I know when, like you argue with someone that you're really close with, it's pretty much the same fing thing.

Every single time. Like, no, you did this or you did this well, two weeks ago you did this. Right. And like, it, it, it actually, there's no solution that comes out of it rather than like, alright, I'll say, sorry, if you say, sorry. Right. 1, 2, 3, sorry, sorry. But like, I, I think if you had this conversation with someone that you've never had this conversation with before, it gives you another tangible list of things that you.

Are, you're not putting your own spin on what they're saying. Yeah. It, it, it gives

[00:23:52] Sean O'Hara: you an outside view and we, and, and again, I know you guys have spoken about this several times in terms of being coached by a different person, making it a point to come to a class and being coached by somebody else. You know, I, I always make fun of Liz all the time and I sit there and say, Liz, come back to nine 30.

Like I miss you. And it's has nothing to do. I don't like the people coaching at nine 30, for sure. Yep. I like hearing other people's voices. And even in this topic of, like you said, I know what this person's going to say. Yeah. I know what their thoughts are. I, I know what their reaction is gonna be. Maybe I need a different voice.

Maybe I need to talk to someone who. It is completely detached from my personal situation to sit there. And maybe that's the clarity that's going to help me move forward. Maybe that's the voice that's going to resonate with me of how many times have you told somebody to hit these points snatching? And then Sam comes in and says two things, and this person's throwing a squat snatch over their head, like, you know, Pring.

And you're saying, I just told you. A million times, but Sam's voice in the way he projected this, this person responded to it. Yeah. It's that works outside the gym

[00:25:04] David Syvertsen: too. And I, I think that's where personal connection, like I just met with our coaches recently about like, I like every few months switching up our schedule, who coaches went and it's not for us, it's for them.

And I think that's where the disconnect is. If anyone ever has kickback. No, no, I like my routine. It's not about you. And I think that's the biggest thing that a coach should always be cognizant of that you're not just here to teach PVC pass throughs and a good warmup. Like you are really here to help this community out.

Yeah. And if you're around different people, you don't even realize the potential impact you can have by simply just being in a different room at the different. You know, and I think that's another tangible way to help people with their mental health Sam.

[00:25:49] Sam Rhee: Yeah. One of the things I did for a while, when I was in a bad place was do the three thankful which a lot of people will do routinely.

And that can be really helpful just to be like you said, whatever it takes to remind yourself of what you have , and what you're grateful for that cannot be underestimated and listening to both of you about, and especially the past three episodes it's about, about community and about. Having others with you.

A lot of what we've talked about were coaches and athletes. But a lot of what I've seen also is in classes, just like you said, the nine 30 moms, so many people just talking and relating to each other and serving as resources for each other, either for advice or just venting or, or. Or anything.

And it really warms my heart every time I see people just kind of talking and sharing whatever it is, it could be something like super simple, like a paleo recipe mm-hmm , or it could be something really deep, but it it's amazing that how, how well people engage. And I don't know if it's. They always say CrossFit is a prescription for health.

You see, hear that from HQ, but I honestly think some of it is self selection that the people that do come here are really awesome people. Yes. Like it's, they're people that I don't see such an, I mean, I see a lot of great people, but I, I don't know if I've ever seen such a. Collection of great people together.

And maybe it is because it's CrossFit or maybe it is just because, the coach culture that Dave has fostered, I don't know, but it's, it's really amazing that I love seeing that. And I would say like one of the reasons I came to Saturday class, Because there were a lot of people signed up that I don't normally see in the morning.

And I said, I really want right to see more of these people and just sort of. Touch base with them and, forget about the fact that I'm sore as hell. And I probably will get smoked on the 1 65 hang power cleans, but I just really wanted to do that. And it was great. That was that's awesome.

It was about the community for me today, as much as it was for anything else. That's

[00:27:55] David Syvertsen: awesome. Yeah. So to, to wrap up, I, I want to give opportunities for us to give any final thoughts. I'm gonna kind of recap. Everything that we've talked about in these past three episodes. And then as I go through them, if there's things that you kind of want to give some closing thoughts on, let's do it.

All right. So there's not that many. Here you go. But final thoughts that we are responsible for our own mental health, as well as others.

[00:28:20] Sean O'Hara: Yep. You, you have to take ownership of it. If you will not get better, if you don't want to get better. Got it. So if something's not wrong, not not going right, you have to figure it.

You have to be the first one. try to figure it out. And if you don't want to get better, you will not be better parallel to

[00:28:36] David Syvertsen: physical health. Correct.

[00:28:37] Sam Rhee: A hundred percent. Yeah. And if you don't, if you know, something's not right and you're not sure how to go about it. Talk to people, figure it out, help get help,

[00:28:45] David Syvertsen: do not be embarrassed by mental health issues.

This is a big thing. Put the ego to the side prior to the side.

[00:28:51] Sean O'Hara: Absolutely. We, we have to, as a community removes stigma from mental health everybody goes through things. Everybody has their highs and their lows, their mental traumas. We have to learn that, that this is a real thing that people go through this every day and we have to.

except that it's our responsibility for ourselves and for others to go through.

[00:29:12] Sam Rhee: Absolutely. And, and be mindful of others because coming from a culture and a surgical society where weakness of any sort was frowned upon to be able to see others and respect them for what they're disclosing to you, what they're talking about and, and supporting that as opposed to looking down on it.

Probably one of the most important things that I'm actually proud of with my kids, that I've seen their culture and their support system now is so much better than when I grew up mm-hmm and I ha and, and some people say, oh, it's so soft and they've gone the other way. I don't think so. I will take what my kids see and do and act upon in a positive way that I never would.

Experienced as a kid. And, and I want to grow that. I want people to recognize that, you know, if you have a mental health issue, that is not something to be hidden or shunned.

[00:30:10] David Syvertsen: Yep. Give yourself a break. We are usually our own harshest critics. This is a big

[00:30:16] Sean O'Hara: one. We are, we are our own worst enemies. It it's, it's amazing how many times we can look back that we kind of self sabotage ourselves with many different aspects.

And there's, there's one instance in CrossFit. I, I got here, I got to the gym. I was getting to know a whole bunch of people and there was one person. And you're gonna laugh when I tell you who this is, you will too, Sam. I could not figure this person out. Mm-hmm they, we, we weren't connecting. They were always around.

And I, I heard this person was absolutely friendly, like great person, like salt, everything like, and I just, it wasn't happening for the longest time. I'm like, it's gotta be me. like, I'm in my head saying, what am I doing wrong and everything else like that. And finally, after I, it was months, it was months.

We started, you know, started a little dialogue and, and then eventually got to know each other. And now this person's one of my best friends at the entire gym. Okay. Absolutely. Who its awesome. It's Kathleen, Kathleen. So

[00:31:14] David Syvertsen: really

[00:31:15] Sean O'Hara: Kathleen was the hardest person for me and I, it, I could see it. Kathleen is,

[00:31:21] David Syvertsen: is when she comes in here.

She is like she's business. Yeah. She's like ready to go.

[00:31:25] Sean O'Hara: But I will tell you if you speak to her outside of this gym, I am, I, I, she's one of my all time, best friends. I would do anything for her. I was about to you guys are so

[00:31:34] Sam Rhee: tight. Yeah. That really surprises

[00:31:37] Sean O'Hara: me. Actually. I know she was, she was a tough one to get to, but in my head I was spinning and I was like, this is what did I do?

I must have said or done something to annoy her or anything else like that. So we, we can eat away at ourselves for no reason whatsoever. And we can overanalyze. And this is the anxiety part of me. Yeah. That really shows through. Yeah. Is. We just kind of have to get out of our own heads and really take a step back and sit there and just be a little bit more critical versus say, okay, no, I think I'm doing right.

Or, you know, maybe this just, you know, there are other explanations for what's going on.

[00:32:08] David Syvertsen: Yeah. Kathleen's in, in, in a kind of a league of her own with, with a lot of things and you know, she was probably just kicking your ass in workouts in your, oh, there was no, there was no doubt about,

[00:32:16] Sean O'Hara: especially back then,

[00:32:18] David Syvertsen: Nutrition and fitness go a long way to.

Yeah. That's really been what this entire thing's been about. Yes.

[00:32:23] Sean O'Hara: It it's everything, everything that we've talked about, nutrition, fitness, and mental health go hand in hand in hand, and we have to be, if we want to get better, we have to be responsible with all three and we don't have to do it by ourselves, iron

[00:32:35] David Syvertsen: sharpens iron.

Like they will strengthen each other. If you wanna strengthen one, the others will reap benefits. Yes. Very

[00:32:40] Sam Rhee: synergistic. You're absolutely right.

[00:32:42] David Syvertsen: Do not wait to treat any issue.

[00:32:44] Sean O'Hara: Yep. Sam talked about it as like, if you think something's not right. Say something, talk to somebody do do your own research, go online.

There's there's a million different things that are out there. The Internet's a wonderful thing. Mm-hmm because the, the longer you wait, the longer you hold things in, and again, Sam touched on it before it's a powder keg and it will go off and it will not be good when it does the longer you wait, the worse of the worse, it gets a hundred percent problems.

Don't

[00:33:08] Sam Rhee: go away. You see it on the physical side, people are like, you know, my should like either my shoulder or maybe I have a spot and it's not going away. And I'm just ignoring. Well guess what? Maybe you should get it checked out and it's the same thing on the, on the mental side, you're a hundred percent right.

With that. Finding

[00:33:23] David Syvertsen: someone, find someone to talk to may not be a family or family member or a close friend. Sometimes you will be more comfortable talking to an acquaintance or a stranger.

[00:33:32] Sean O'Hara: Yep. Yeah, we, we, we we've said it. Nothing in life is meant to be done. I'm I'm a firm proponent, a firm believer on that.

We are meant to be people that tackle things together and especially in the fitness community, across the community, there are people that are going to be willing to help. There are people that are be willing to bend over backwards for you. There are people that have been there before you don't need to reinvent the wheel, get it out.

Find someone you're comfortable talking to. It will go a very long way.

[00:34:00] David Syvertsen: Amen. And we got three left. Be a good listener. Yeah. What is

[00:34:04] Sean O'Hara: a good listener? Yeah, like you said, yeah. Asking questions was great. I didn't even really, really put that down there or think about that much. But being an engaged listener is asking questions is, is, is investing, is showing you're invested in that time for 5, 10, 15 minutes.

And that can make somebody's day, week, month, year by just having an outlet to let some of that pressure out. Yeah. For.

[00:34:25] David Syvertsen: Call. So this is probably, you can explain what you meant by this. Sure. Call text, email, show up. If there's a major problem, I'm assuming that's from the person that's doing the helping.

[00:34:35] Sean O'Hara: So my, my thing is this is, is this works both ways of if, if, if you are going through something I, and I tell people all the time, and if I don't know you, or if, if you're part of bison or whatever it is, if you wake me up at two 30 in the morning and you call me and you have a problem, I will answer my phone eventually when I get up.

Yeah. And I will talk to you on the phone. I will, you know, text me, email me. I, if there is a problem, I will help. Yeah. I may not be, you know, focused and it may take me a while to get up there, but I would much rather deal with that problem than there than worry about what may happen because of those problems.

And again, also, If I know someone or I recognize somebody that is having some sort of issues or something like that, I'm sorry. I'm gonna give you the warning. Now. I am gonna be a pain in your butt. In terms of I'm going to sit there and I'm going to care. Yeah. Because I can see warning signs. I can see something that's going to happen.

I know something's not right. I will be there for you. I'm not gonna smother you cuz I know that's not a good thing. Yeah. But I will be there for you. If I per, if I personally noticed that there's something wrong and that's kind of, you know, where we're going with that. Awesome.

[00:35:43] David Syvertsen: All right. And last one, that kind of ties into what you just said.

You could wrap it up is just simply take care of each

[00:35:49] Sean O'Hara: other. Yes. You have a direct effect on your own mental health and other people's mental health. And if we don't take care of each other you know, we're, we're in a losing battle. So it's, it's one of those things we just have to. Recognize that we have to take care of ourselves, but we also are responsible and have to take care of each other.

Awesome. Sam,

[00:36:09] David Syvertsen: any closing thoughts?

[00:36:10] Sam Rhee: I'm so glad that you came on and spoke with us. I had no idea how. This was actually gonna go. And I think this was actually one of my favorite series of anything that we've ever done. Yeah. Awesome.

[00:36:25] David Syvertsen: I think this is gonna get a lot of positive feedback and just, it's awesome that you, you know, pull that curtain back.

It takes, I mean, you're showing, you're being the example by really pulling the curtain back and letting people kind of see the inside of Sean. And we're really grateful for you that you did it. And we really hope that everyone that listened to all three episodes. That it really kind of opened up the doors and, you know, helped you find any potential solutions that you might need right now or, or down the road.

So thank you again, Sean. And we'll uh, we'll see you at the gym this week. Thanks guys. This is great.