S03E122 Guest Ashwin Venkatraman - Parenting, Coping and CrossFit

Imagine juggling three young daughters, a full-time job, and personal fitness goals while facing the burden of being a single parent. Sounds unimaginable, right? Well, not for Ashwin Venkatraman @ashv_nj who transformed his life through a dedicated approach to CrossFit. 

His journey offers a unique perspective on maintaining a healthy lifestyle amidst the chaos of parenting. Tune in as coaches David Syvertsen @davesy85 and Sam Rhee @bergencosmetic discuss with Ashwin how parenting reshapes our lives and perceptions, and the unique challenges it presents when it comes to maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

Our chat delves into Ashwin's incredible journey to physical and mental transformation. His story is a testament to the power of commitment, dedication, and how one can repurpose the gym as a coping mechanism during hard times. We also discuss how finding like-minded partners in fitness can help in the journey, the balance of making decisions for the business while being mindful of the people it affects, and how fitness is not an expense, but an investment.

Hear how Ashwin's dedication to CrossFit has not only resulted in personal gains but also inspired his children to become more active. Plus, learn how to manage the expectations of kids and teach them to value experiences over material objects. This episode is packed with practical advice, inspiring stories, and fresh perspectives on balancing fitness and parenting. Ready to be inspired? Your journey starts here.

@crossfitbison @crossfittraining @crossfit @crossfitgames #crossfit #sports #exercise #health #movement #crossfitcoach #agoq #clean #fitness #ItAllStartsHere #CrossFitOpen #CrossFit #CrossFitCommunity @CrossFitAffiliates #supportyourlocalbox #crossfitaffiliate #personalizedfitness 

0:05 Parenting and CrossFit

9:24 CrossFit Benefits for Parents

18:15 Challenges of Parenting and Balancing Responsibilities

31:17 Budgeting for Health and Fitness Investments

41:12 Balancing Fitness and Parenting

50:29 The Importance of Finding Like-Minded Partners

S03E122 Guest Ashwin Venkatraman - Parenting, Coping and CrossFit

[00:00:00] David Syvertsen: All right. Welcome to the HerdFit Podcast. I'm coach David Syvertsen. I'm here with my co hosts, Dr. and coach Sam Rhee, and we have a very special guest today, longtime Bison member and Bison Bowl. Eight first place scale trophy that is sitting right in front of us. Ashwin, what is up? Don't forget 

[00:00:22] Ashwin Venkatraman: 99, 487 fittest male in the world.

Wow. 

[00:00:28] David Syvertsen: Got the credentials. We had to go through an agent to book him for this morning's recording here on this rainy Sunday while we 30 feet away from us. Hear that vibration on the ground right now, which is always cool. Um Ashwin, how are you? And thank you for coming on to the podcast. 

[00:00:43] Ashwin Venkatraman: Uh, doing great. Uh, I was supposed to be in Parsippany, uh, an hour away for a soccer game this morning that got canceled.

So very happy to be here. Thanks to the rain. 

[00:00:52] David Syvertsen: Awesome. Uh, we're going to dive right into our topic today. And it's, um, it's about parenting in the pursuit of CrossFit and health and fitness. And if you have done CrossFit for a long time, Endor, you're very dedicated to your health and fitness. You know, it's a 24 7, 365 almost borderline occupation.

And for, for a lot of people and it's, it can, there's a lot of ups and downs. There's a lot of struggles that come that you expect, a lot of struggles that come that you don't expect. And it's, it's, um, as, as Much as we love it, it's a stressor for a lot of people. And it's a lot of what we want to talk about on this podcast.

If you go back and listen to the hundred plus episodes that we've done, a lot of it does center around that is we want to help people out, you know, just cope with some of the stresses that we deal with in the pursuit of CrossFit. Right? Because it's not, it's not all daisies, right? We're not all coming in here feeling great physically, mentally, emotionally, all the time.

Um, it, there's a lot, the workouts obviously are not easy. There's a lot of ups and downs that we like talk about, but parenting is very relevant. Whether you're a parent or not, whether you want to be a parent or not someday, I think there's going to be a lot of relevance in this episode. That is going to give you a fresh new perspective on things when things do get hard in your personal life in relation to the gym.

So Sam, opening thoughts on this topic because I know we've actually, for whatever reason, and this has not been planned, we've been talking kind of like around this topic for a few weeks now. One of them being Sasha, right? Um, What are your opening thoughts on the topic, just in parenting in regard to 

[00:02:34] Sam Rhee: CrossFit?

It's a unique situation, I think, for most people. I think if you look, remember back to what it was like when you didn't have kids, and now when you do have kids, it's a night and day difference. Uh, so I think if you've never had, and I remember when I never had kids, I wasn't like, oh, I want to have kids. I was just like, I'm okay.

And then you have kids and then it's just sort of a very big perspective game changer in terms of your self sacrifice and how you feel about yourself and others. I'm really interested in this topic now for two reasons. One is, uh, yeah, I do hope that if you don't have kids you can sort of look at it and put some of your life into relation and maybe motivate you a little bit more.

When you see people who have challenges, just like when you see anyone who has, has challenges, and then you look at your life and you're like, wow, if they can do that, I should be able to do more. So that's the first thing. The second thing is, is that we've, we have circled around it, but one of the biggest groups of people we have at our gym are parents who have young.

Kids. And I see that every day. I see that when they bring their kids in. I see that when they talk about their lives. And that, that poses particular challenges because inherently you're here to work on your fitness, your mental health, your strength, all sorts of things. But you're always in the back of your mind, like thinking about things that probably are more important to you.

then yourself, which are your children, I mean, I would say most people would lay down their lives for their kids. And so when you start thinking about, alright so how do I fit all of this Crossfitting stuff into my life with little children, with, with my priorities, how does that work, uh, I I really want to hear, Ash, I want to hear your perspectives on that, because my kids were pretty old by the time I started, you know, cross fitting, and, and...

And now 

[00:04:28] David Syvertsen: they're beating you in workouts. 

[00:04:31] Ashwin Venkatraman: I would hope so. 

[00:04:32] Sam Rhee: I mean, come 

[00:04:33] Ashwin Venkatraman: on, like, 

[00:04:34] Sam Rhee: look at me. So uh, so at this point, uh, to hear what you have to say about keeping those priorities straight and, and figuring out how to make your life manageable, like... That's, that's pretty inspiring to me, too. 

[00:04:47] David Syvertsen: Absolutely. This is inspiring.

And Ashwin has a unique situation that we're going to dive into. Again, really thankful and a lot of respect for him for making, putting himself out there, being vulnerable, humble to come on it and talk about his situation. But let's talk about something that all three of us can relate to as parents. And then we really want to dive into Ashwin's situation and his advice and his words.

The components to this, right? If you remember back to pre kids. Life was easier. We know that. I remember that this, we were driving back from the hospital with Brock after we were in the hospital for a week, Ash, I, and Brock during COVID. All right, the peak of COVID really. And someone called me, one of my friends said, congrats.

And he goes, dude, it's going to be the hardest thing you've ever done in your entire life. Nothing comes close, but it's also going to be the best and most rewarding thing you've ever done in your entire life. Nothing comes close. And that sums it up to me. I like, I remember back to training for French Throwdown, Coliseum, the regional team.

Everything was so easy to plan. Where do I have to be at work? Then I go train. There was nothing that interrupted sleep. Nutrition habits. Um, then you got the little guy that comes in and you wouldn't trade any days without him. Uh, that you would never want to trade anything that with the situation I'm in right now with Brock, I would never, you know, the sleep's been rough.

Scheduling has been tough. Training is different. Recovering is different, but I wouldn't want to go back to the former life at all. And I don't even say that I miss it, but the, the, the physical and mental components to being a parent while also trying to get the most out of myself physically, right, we all have to have some sort of independence, right?

We need to pursue things. We should always be pursuing things. We can't always, you can't serve people from a half a cup, right? You always have to fill your cup first and then try to do your best to, to share with others. And. You know, let's talk about, Ashwin, physical and mental benefits, that is, you know, kind of benefits but also risks of really diving into CrossFit full force, um, while also trying to raise girls.

What are some of the benefits, what are some of the positive side, what are some of the positives that you've experienced being a parent while also CrossFitting? 

[00:07:00] Ashwin Venkatraman: Yeah, so to just step back for a second, I've got three girls, uh, they're 10, 9, and 4. I started CrossFit when the youngest was born. Born, like right after she was born, my ex wife now, and I started right after that.

So it's been about four, four and a half years that I've been doing this. And, um, the reason I started it was because my older two girls, when they were younger, I used to constantly, you know, play with them, wrestle with them, you know, whatever, carry both of them around, you know, run with them. And, and like the little one is about to be born and I'm carrying both of them up the stairs, I'm like halfway up the stairs and I'm like.

I'm running out of breath. I can't walk up the stairs with these two. So I really didn't need, needed to make a change at that point. So 

[00:07:40] David Syvertsen: that was one of your inspirations to starting. 

[00:07:42] Ashwin Venkatraman: Yeah, that was like, I need to do something. And then, you know, Bison is just so well advertised under the radar. Like anyone you meet.

We'll sell it to you. And so we heard about it and we came in and I was at the old gym. As soon as I saw the gym, I was like, this is perfect. I, you know, I'm 

[00:07:54] David Syvertsen: in. I remember pretty clearly when you started like, and it's like, you know, I can't remember what I had for dinner last night. And I can't remember when Ashley tells me to put my clothes away, but I can remember everyone, when they started at Bison, what they were like, right.

And you coach for a long time and in your head, you don't judge people, but you kind of tear people. Like, hey, fire breather. Hey, just trying to get a workout in. Hey, they're scared shitless, you know, and then you coach them accordingly. Right? You, you were a unique individual. I remember pretty clearly that you walked in with a lot of just like, vulnerability, confidence in yourself, but also you were in pretty bad shape.

Like, you struggled to do some of the simple components, conditioning was a big deal, but really quickly, you were easily one of the most coachable people. You always wanted to come in and learn something and be taught. Never had an ego problem. And I could see like a clear month by month. Some people it's year by year because it takes longer.

Steady improvement, steady improvement, steady improvement to the point where one of my favorite experiences with you was during the pandemic. This is, um, summer 2020. We, we had a bunch of people sign up for the legends qualifiers. The first time our gym has done it. And Ashwin was one of them. And he's like, I don't know if I should do this.

I was like, bro, let's do it. You know, like we all want to work out without a mask. That was one. So we were allowed to do that because we're in classes and everything. And I remember like you went after those workouts like full force. And I remember that was the first time I was like truly impressed with you.

And even since then. You've really catapulted yourself. All of a sudden you're doing butterfly pull ups. You're winning comps at CrossFit Bison. It was the team not me. Your lifting is getting better. Your quality of movement is getting better. And the personality never changed. Like, you're still coming in wanting to learn.

Be coachable. And that's like one of my favorite, it's like one of my favorite stories just to follow over the years. is you and also knowing what you've been going through outside of the gym, because I do feel like, Hey, we talked about butterfly pull ups, cool. Handstand push ups, cool. Lifting, cool. You know how this place, how you working hard here can help you mentally is probably just as, if not more important than some of your physical gains and being able to walk up the stairs with the girls and not run out of breath.

Can you touch on some of the mental gains that you've made? 

[00:10:15] Ashwin Venkatraman: Um, yeah, I mean, uh, so, so physically, right, uh, as a parent, like you just have less of a chance. You just can't get hurt as much because too many people are depending on you, right? So, um, you know, especially in the situation I'm in, which is a single parent, uh, no one's there to help me at the drop of a hat to carry a heavy, you know, table from one side of the room to another or chair up the stairs, right?

So you just can't get hurt. Um, mentally more than right. CrossFit, I never worked out before CrossFit. I mean, I played sports, you know, sporadically. I played, you know, in college for Division 3 for a sport. But like, I didn't really work out. And so I never got into like, if I don't work out, I'm gonna have a mental, you know, my mentality's not gonna be as great.

Now that I come here regularly, you know, four or five times a week, um, like it, I need this for my mental health almost more than my physical health, right? Um, there are days, and I know there was another podcast where you guys mentioned this, I have come in personally, uh, you know, in a bad, in bad shape. I don't want to talk to anyone.

And generally I'm a very sociable, like guy giving high fives to everyone. I walk in, I don't want to talk to anyone. I'm just in a corner stretching, listening to the, uh, you know, the coach. And then at the end of the class. Like, I forget what, what, you know, I'm just, I'm happy. I'm high fiving everyone. Um, so mentally like just coming here is just, uh, just brings you back to just the baseline state that you are as a person.

And you forget, you know, you get, you get away from anything that's kind of bothering you and you step back and you realize like there's a bigger picture and now you're ready to tackle the 

[00:11:43] David Syvertsen: world again. Yeah, that's awesome. Just like taking that, I remember Christopher, one of his famous lines. That I still think about to this day.

He says, you're always one workout away. That's what you're just always one workout away from like getting the, getting back on track from improving your mood, improving your mental health, making your gains. Again, you're always one workout away. Sam, you're a little bit more experienced on the parent side than us.

You've been done it longer. Do you, do you see just from your perspective of being a little bit more experienced here, some of the benefits. of being a parent actually helping you crossfit and then vice versa. Like, I'm always big on trying to find relationships between things to help me cope or, you know, find solutions to problems.

Being a parent, being a crossfitter, the ups and downs, the control versus lack of control. Do you see parallels here? 

[00:12:34] Sam Rhee: Yeah, but you know, it's funny, I'm trying to remember what it was like when my kids were small and... It's all like a 

[00:12:41] Ashwin Venkatraman: blur. , . Like it's one 

[00:12:43] Sam Rhee: big blur. And so when I think about what is it like again to be a, a parent of three young daughters, a single parent, like, I think about, I remember when you started too, and 

[00:12:57] Ashwin Venkatraman: I, I think you 

[00:13:00] Sam Rhee: were able to get more out of it than I think almost anyone else I know at the gym.

Like you. Made the most of your experience more than anyone else, and I think Dave hit it on the head, like your personality hasn't changed. You are the same bright, engaging, like, great person to be around now that you are a badass at the gym versus when, you know, you were a rank beginner, and I have seen people over time and sometimes when they get to that point where they're really good at stuff, they do change.

They get, I don't want to say cocky, but like, you know, they, it feeds into their ego and they start, you know, acting differently towards others or maybe they think like, I'm better, like stuff like that. And that's never been your mentality. Uh, and the fact that Most people who are really stressed, especially young parents, like parents of young children are like, how do I fit this in?

How do I do this? You've managed to make it a priority over a lot of tribulation over your your time. Like, I honestly would not have known unless you had told me about some of the things you've gone through, that you had gone through those things. Like, you come into the gym, and you're not carrying that baggage.

with you. You're using this place to help you, and I think that inspired me. Like you said, no matter what's going on outside, like, what, uh, issues I'm having, like, can I use this place to help me be better, feel better, and you've done that. You, you, the other thing that always strikes me about single parents, and I've talked to a couple here, is just the sense of responsibility you have.

You're like, you have to find that balance of, you know what, I really want to get fit. I really want to get You know, work harder. But if I get injured, like, I have three people relying on me and nobody else. Like, no one else in the world. If I were to, like, like, if I were to, you know, you know, get hit by a bus, like, I have Susan.

I have Susan's sister. I have a bunch of people in my life who could, who could support my kids. But who do you have? And, and that as a single parent is some of the scariest things that you have to think of every night when you're, like, lying there and, and also when you work out. So, so the fact that you're able to balance that, make yourself better, have no ego, like, be engaging to everyone, and yet also keep all those responsibilities in mind at the same time, like, That's pretty amazing 

[00:15:36] Ashwin Venkatraman: stuff.

Yeah, there's also a correlation with the physical health and the mental part of it, like you're saying, Sam. Um, for example, looking better, right? You know, like, I'm clearly just an average, you know, maybe below average person. Oh, don't give 

[00:15:49] David Syvertsen: yourself out. Compared to who? Let's go to the mall after this and let's go sit in the food court.

[00:15:54] Ashwin Venkatraman: Oh, you're a specimen, Ash. It's okay. But, um, you know, when you're going through tough times, Yeah. If you don't feel like you look... or if you don't feel, you know, like it just makes things exponentially worse because now you just have another thing. Like I can't, I don't want to go outside. I can't meet people.

I can't do anything. I don't feel good about myself. And, and um, you know, Jiffy, you know, my girlfriend and I, we were just talking about about some ideas for this. And one of the things she mentioned, which is true, When you're going through tough times, there's a lot of best practices to follow. See a therapist, you know, eat well, exercise, whatever.

And, and Bison is like a one stop shop. Right? Like, you can spend hours doing all of these things, or you can just spend an hour at the gym a day, and like, you get the mental benefits, the physical benefits, you know, there's even nutritional benefits, like everything. It's like almost a one stop shop. So from a mental health perspective, like, I'm big on...

Stuff like cross with the community, talking to other people. Like you're not in a hole at home, digging yourself deeper into a hole. Like you're out there with people. So 

[00:16:52] David Syvertsen: great point. And you're so right about that too. Uh, the one stop shop. I'd never like use that terminology for it, but we've always said.

That we want bison just to be the answer to every question or every problem that you have one way or another, right? Let's before we I want really want to try to turn this into your personal situation now and You know again, thank you for coming on being vulnerable Can you just open the door a little bit to what you've been going through?

So that we can kind of dissect it and again the purpose of this is that there's others that are going through this They're going to go through this and if not You're lucky, you're fortunate, be thankful, but let's get the perspective of Ashwin and what you're going through and it might kind of check you a little bit and be like, you know what, I, uh, should be really aware of what other people are going through before I complain about my own stuff.

So can you open up the door to what happened just briefly? 

[00:17:44] Ashwin Venkatraman: Sure, sure, and I'm happy to be an open book and, you know, vulnerable. Um, so, I, you know, um, How do I begin? So, so after the birth of our third child four years ago, after that, you know, uh, we started having, you know, you know, the same kind of marital issues everyone else has, but then there were also substance abuse issues in the, in the family and stuff.

And so, you know, there was a, a divorce that happened. And so at one point, Like in the heights of COVID, I ended up becoming a single parent, like about three years ago. And, um, so I'm parenting three girls. Uh, I think they were second grade, first grade, and, you know, maybe a two year old in kindergarten, I mean, in preschool.

Right. And so that alone is very, it was very difficult for every, all parents, like just COVID. Yep. But while I'm doing that, you know, full time job, uh, going through a divorce, going through substance abuse issues, going through so many different things. Um, I, I, it was almost like. For me, I felt like if I can just get, and actually, interestingly enough, I got, uh, there was a restructure at work and I had to, you know, apply for a job at that time too, uh, like three years ago.

Wow, that was 2020. Yeah, everything just happened. And like, once I was, finally found my stride and, you know, used things like, you know, Bison to, to have my mental health, you know, going. Um, once I got through that, you think, like, man, you know, I went through 35 years of life without, like, really anything to worry about.

I mean, you know, obviously everyone has issues, but, like, you know, nothing major, and then all of a sudden, it just, life just got me, right? Um, after, if you can go through all of those things at the same time and, like, figure out, like, It's okay, there's another side at the end of it. Everything's temporary, right?

Like, all your bad times are temporary, all your good times are temporary. Like, everything's temporary. Um, then, like, now, I think, you know, my kids are doing really well, they're thriving. Um, it's very hard, like, um, so, like, I thought maybe I could talk about my schedule, right? Um, I got some injuries right now and some work situations, so it's slightly different, but generally, like, you know, say Tuesday morning, I'd be at the gym at 5 a.

m. Get home at 6, um, you know, shower, get my kids ready for, you know, school and daycare, go into the city, right, come back from the city, leave early from work, because I can't, like, stay late at work these days, leave early from work, come back, do all the kids stuff, get them ready for bed, then go to, like, yoga or something, um, because And we'll talk about that too.

Like that's the only way you can have relationships is if you plan dates around things that are common interests, like exercise or whatever. So like, and I repeat that Wednesday morning. So I'm like going home at 10 o'clock, go back to bed, wake up at four again. Cause that's how I need like 45 minutes to get ready in the morning.

If I come to the gym for some reason. I do too. 

[00:20:25] David Syvertsen: Don't worry. It's like an, it's an 18 

[00:20:27] Ashwin Venkatraman: hour day. Yeah. Yeah. So it's just, it's just a lot of long days and, and, and no breaks, right? Like you're, you 

[00:20:32] David Syvertsen: know. When you set up the schedule, are you looking at it from on Sunday mapping out your week or are you looking at all right?

What am I doing today? What am I doing tomorrow? And does that help you really stay accountable? Because sometimes you make these decisions in the moment. We see it at the gym all the time. Sam and I coach in the morning. Six people per day cancel their 5 a. m. reservation at 6 a. m. Because I guarantee not all, most just wake up and don't feel like going to the gym that day.

Do you set up your schedule and just like, Hey, this is my schedule for the week. Or do you have to be a little bit flexible day to day? Yeah, 

[00:21:03] Ashwin Venkatraman: there's no set in stone thing in my life. I wish, I wish I could be more organized. So one, I'm probably not the most organized individual on the planet, but number two.

Things just change so fast, right? Um, and having an hour where I can be out of the house is gold for me because I can't leave my four year old alone in the house. So I can't, I live a block away from a yoga place. I live, you know, I live five minutes away from Bison. It's very hard for me to just step out at 5am when my kids are asleep and be like, I'm going to go work out.

Right. So I need a, it's very tough not to have a warm body in the house that can just, just be there as, 

[00:21:41] David Syvertsen: as another, someone wakes up and thrown out bathroom, that kind of stuff. Yeah. So, 

[00:21:46] Ashwin Venkatraman: so, to answer your question, Dave, any hour I get, if I'm like, oh, my mom's gonna be around, uh, you know, this evening, like, I'm gone.

I'm like, I'm, I'm, I'm gonna do, like, you know, multiple things, I'm gonna do whatever I can in that one hour. And I was never like that before, but, you know, you just realize your schedule's so tight, you don't have, I almost don't have a choice. If I have an hour, I gotta go do that class, otherwise I'm not doing anything and I'm gonna feel worse about it, so.

[00:22:12] Sam Rhee: So you have your mother helping you with... Yeah, 

[00:22:14] Ashwin Venkatraman: she actually lives in town. And um, she'll spend like a couple of nights a week when I have to go into the city for work. Um, she'll, she'll spend the night. So I can like, you know, you know. So those nights, I can take advantage of the late class or whatever. Or the mornings I can take advantage of, but outside of those couple nights a week, it's usually lunchtime that I come here when I'm working.

[00:22:34] Sam Rhee: When is it okay to leave your kids at home? At what age? 

[00:22:38] Ashwin Venkatraman: I want to know that. And go work out because I 

[00:22:40] Sam Rhee: think Susan and I kind of pushed it a little bit 

[00:22:42] Ashwin Venkatraman: with our kids. 

[00:22:44] David Syvertsen: How old are your kids? I'm trying to remember. I think, uh, I mean, you're looking at 

[00:22:49] Sam Rhee: 2014. Yeah. Nick and Sasha. So that was what? Nine years ago?

Yeah. So nine and six. Yeah, so Nick, he was probably seven or six. No, no. Like he was 16 now. So like, yeah, so yeah. And, uh, yeah. 

[00:23:06] David Syvertsen: So probably. What about you? Do you have a number yet? Like, can you, can you leave your three girls home? How old are your girls again? 10, 

[00:23:13] Ashwin Venkatraman: nine and 

[00:23:14] David Syvertsen: four. Can you leave your 10 slash 9 year old home with the 4 year old and feel confident for an hour, two hours, just the three of them?

No. 

[00:23:24] Ashwin Venkatraman: Yeah, even our, 

[00:23:25] Sam Rhee: our, when Nick was 6 or 7, like, and Sasha was like 9, like, that was a push. Like, we felt like, what if a fire happened? I mean, I think we did it, but I don't know. 

[00:23:36] David Syvertsen: Don't, don't hold me to it. But it's no judgment free zone because I'm thinking about doing it at age five. We have a dog. 

[00:23:44] Sam Rhee: So then at 5am in the morning, is your mom there?

Yeah. Okay. 

[00:23:47] Ashwin Venkatraman: She would have spent the night. Oh, I see. That helps a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, 

[00:23:51] Sam Rhee: I mean, I think that that's a. Problem that a lot of parents deal with, it's like, at what age is it okay to like, leave your kids by themselves for a short period of time? 

[00:24:01] David Syvertsen: Or, how early is too early to get your kid out of bed and put them in the lobby while you work out?

That's right. So true. Uh, we had someone do that for the first time yesterday, Saturday class, and it was like a, hey, we have to talk Friday about Saturday. I'm bringing my daughter for the first time by herself into the lobby. I have the iPad, Cocoa Melon, you know, blah blah blah. It's a, it's a, it's a big deal.

You know, I haven't done it yet. I haven't, uh, brought Brock and just said, Hey, I'm going to go work out sitting here by herself on the, you know, that, that's also in that same kind of same church, different pew kind of thing, you know, 

[00:24:34] Ashwin Venkatraman: I will say the number one best thing about Bison for parents is that you guys allow.

Kids to be around in the lobby. 100%. Like I, no, not many places do that. And that just means I can't work out. I can't go there. Like, I just can't go there. Yeah. And, and also, uh, you know, we were staying late the other day after a late class and you were trying to clean up and my girls are like running on the, on the rings and didn't want to leave.

But, um, you know, for me, it's every second they spend at Bison is gold for me. Because, um, they just, they, they play on the rings and they think it's fun. They don't care what I'm doing. Like they're on their iPads or whatever. But once class is done, they're running around. They're like, we want to jump on boxes.

We want to do this. And, and like, it's gold because you hope that five years from now, it'll be like, Oh yeah, this is like a familiar environment to me. You know, they're going to feel like it's not something. 

[00:25:23] David Syvertsen: Yeah, it's not a liability, it's an asset. Like, you can come here and it's a fun place to work out.

So many people view working out as something they have to do. And like, no, we get to do this. And it's the people and the environment. And I love that you said that too. Um, so we talked about this, how the challenge of your schedule and the concept of time. You know, we brought up your workouts, you know, we brought up morning hours, midday hours, we did not bring up the diet.

You know, healthy eating. It's a process. It is a part time job. We've all done it, right? Whether it's reset or you're prepping for a competition. That is, it's a part time job and we just, you don't have free hours. You don't have that. How hard is it for someone in your situation to really put their best foot forward, and do you have any advice when it comes to nutrition?

[00:26:20] Ashwin Venkatraman: Yeah, nutrition's hard and, um, one, because to eat healthy, uh, requires some planning. You have to buy the right things. Always know what you're going to do. Um, too many nights I'm just in the car and I have to feed my kids in the car while I'm taking one, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm picking up one from daycare, dropping one off at soccer, picking up another one from soccer, you know?

And then, you know, like I'm just, 

I'm, I'm all over the place. And some, literally some days we'll grab a pizza pie and we're just eating in the cars. And I'm also. I have a minivan, as you know Sam, uh, from, from, you know. I love, listen, I love people with minivans. I've said that. I might 

[00:26:56] Sam Rhee: not really feel like driving one, but, but I understand that.

And in your situation, I probably would drive a minivan. My brothers drive minivans. 

[00:27:05] David Syvertsen: Everyone that I know has a minivan. Every, every guy that has a minivan that you could tell they don't want to get it, but a month in you're like. They're really functional. 

[00:27:14] Ashwin Venkatraman: They're so good. I understand that. I love minivans.

They sort of love them. But I also, that means I carpool a lot of my kids friends as well. So, you know, we're driving from one house to another. So, I spend a lot of time just going around. So, many nights I don't have time to cook, right? Absolutely, yes. Or make healthy meals. Some nights I'm just having PB& Js in the car, feeding everybody, so, like the, the, the thing I have to weigh out is do I eat sort of unhealthy, like a couple slices of pizza or whatever, or do I choose not to eat, get home at 9 o'clock, and decide I'm probably not gonna cook anyway and then I'm just gonna, you know, eat like a bag of potato 

[00:27:52] David Syvertsen: chips or something, you know?

I find myself in that predicament a lot, too. Either don't eat or eat something healthy, unhealthy. It's a tough, it's a tough decision. That's a choice 

[00:28:02] Sam Rhee: many parents have, unfortunately. Yeah. 

[00:28:04] Ashwin Venkatraman: Um, so to, so to solve that, what I tried many different things through the years. So right now I subscribe to a meal thing that, you know, paleo meal thing that comes in.

Right. Um, but you know, it gets expensive too. Um, so, and, and the meals don't taste as great as if I cook something, you know, fresh. So I'm still experimenting with that to just. Make healthy little choices every time you have a choice. Like, you know, just micro choices. And in the end it'll be, you know, you'll 1 percent each way and you know, you'll, you'll 

[00:28:30] David Syvertsen: be in a different path.

Move that needle. Yeah. 

[00:28:32] Sam Rhee: What do you do with Brock? I see the bagels and the, uh, 

[00:28:37] David Syvertsen: Yeah, I mean as a parent like Hartman's gonna have a heart attack here But like I kind of let him eat the way he wants to right now I don't think we're at the point yet where it's really worth trying to fight like vegetables and fruit I mean we try but it's not like up.

Nope. You can't have dinner until you do this. It just is it doesn't work yet 

[00:28:58] Sam Rhee: I think for Brock, you just want to give him as many 

[00:29:00] David Syvertsen: calories as I tolerate like Yes, do I get a little, do I get discouraged when there's four bags of muffins? I'm like, all right, we got to do something else. But we, I just want him eating and eating and eating.

So, but I've, I've never really had an issue with like, Oh, I need to eat that mac and cheese that he's eating. Or we go get bagels two, three days a week. Like I don't get one. Does Ashley not feel that? She's a little back and forth, you know, but she, she's a bit. It's almost just like kind of out of sight, out of mind.

Like I, I used to, I grew up eating bagels, like probably 10 bagels a week, like growing up. And I don't even look at them seeing like I want them anymore. It's just, you know, the, the struggles, uh, that I would say that there's this more. kind of snacky type food at home, you know, with, you know, trying to feed a kid.

So if you're just kind of having a weak moment watching TV, it's a lot easier to reach in. Where in the past, I just wouldn't buy them. Just wouldn't have them in the house, you know. Um, but I, I do kind of empathize with the, the financial factor here, you know, that you kind of like a nice little segue into like, I like to eat healthy and I like how I feel when I'm eating healthy, but it is.

Definitely more expensive. It's not, it's not a deal breaker. Um, and I know I can allocate more money to it and take some money away from other things that I spend money on. Um, like right now, like I'm not drinking at all. So it's like, it's, I don't spending any of that money on alcohol and it's really easy for me to put a little bit more.

Financial responsibility into eating clean at the PC mills right down the street have been huge for me and they're about 10 bucks a meal But if I really want to be economic and cook my own food I could probably come up with you know net spending three to four dollars per meal if you really kind of buy things on your own and making things on your own and that adds up and So let's dive into the financial component a little bit and because that that's a I hear that a lot Um, people, there's always an excuse to not eat well and eat healthy and money comes up at some point.

Absolutely. So, Ashwin, what's, what's going on with you, um, in regard to that, what, what's, what's your advice on it? What have you done well? What have you not done well with it? Yeah. 

[00:31:08] Ashwin Venkatraman: You know, um. A lot of the, uh, you know, good exercise, good nutrition, like any, anything good it seems is more expensive than anything not right.

Like, like obviously we're here at Bison. I, I, I, I find tremendous value. So I don't think Bison is expensive compared to the value. I, you know, I get from it, but it is expensive, you know, compared to like, you know, Fitness 

[00:31:29] Sam Rhee: 19. 

[00:31:29] David Syvertsen: Right. Yeah. Right. 19 bucks a month. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you're welcome for the free advertising.

[00:31:36] Ashwin Venkatraman: Sorry. Should I not have mentioned? Um, but you know, I, I had an epiphany like a couple of months ago. Cause I, I was signing up for a new thing. Because I wanted my kids to do it. It's a martial art. I have girls, I want them to be able to defend themselves. But I also want to do it with them. So one, I also wanted to learn.

A family activity. And it's been great, because at home, we'll wrestle, we'll do whatever. Whatever we learn in class, we can do later. But it adds up, right? Like a monthly cost for one thing, plus another thing, plus another thing. Now you're looking at like 500... Yeah. Yeah, yeah. And so I, I did some rough calculations in my head, you know, let's say, let's say it's 500 bucks a month, round number, you know, 6, 000 a year times, you know, you do that for 10 years, let's say 60, 000, you know, that's 60, 000.

If I was 80, Knowing that in my forties, I spent my whole decade of my forties doing these three things. And because of that, I get one more year where I can like be physically active with my grandkids or my kids or travel or health wise. Maybe I get five extra years because of these 10 years. Would I, at that point be like, I wish I had spent this money when I was 40.

Right. And like, it's, it would have been a no brainer cause that's all you want when you're, you know, that age is like be able to spend time with the people you love. So, so if I look at it that way, I'm very willing to make some sacrifices, you know, like we don't buy much as a family, like my kids understand, like our needs come first, you know, like.

We have this mantra in our house, right? We'll pay, I'll pay anything for, you know, health, education, and experiences, right? So like with my kids, we don't need things outside of that, right? Like we don't need expensive things. So my kids understand that my kids buy into that. Um, so that's, that's kind of like, you have to also, as the kids get older, as you'll learn, like their tastes may not be the same budget as your tastes.

Just wait till that new iPhone 

[00:33:29] Sam Rhee: comes out and then see 

[00:33:31] David Syvertsen: what they say. Yeah. So that, that, I mean, yeah, being on the same page and like right now you're the leader of the household and at some point you want, I mean, you, you are a parent to your kids, so at some point they become individual, independent adults and, you know, I know the teenage years are coming up and that's when things probably start to turn in terms of kids making their own decisions and wanting certain things.

Um, you know, so what, what are some things that you've done to, you call them sacrifices, right? Financially. Financially. To whether it's provide more money for investing in your health, which is really I think what gym memberships and healthy eating should be viewed as when economics come up. It's an investment.

You're not spending, right? We invest in a 401k so that we can retire and have money in the bank when we're done, right? And we are, we're spending money here at the gym and on healthy food because we're investing in those future years. Where you get to spend more time with your kids and I guarantee when we all get up there It's gonna be the only thing we care about is just getting a few a little bit more time with our kids and people that we love What are some of the things that you suggest people look into when it comes to just cut some spending out elsewhere?

Yeah, 

[00:34:46] Ashwin Venkatraman: um, you know, it's this is the first piece of advice I think many people would give and Much much harder than it than it is. It's much easier to say it than it is to do is create a budget right, so I'm sort of a You know, a math nerd, Excel nerd for, you know, stuff I've done at, you know, my job in my life.

And so I literally, I have a spreadsheet that I literally just import all my stuff from all my credit card statements, bank statements, Amazon purchases, all in one. And then it just like sorts it by, you know, what, you know, everything that. The categories and stuff. And I just, every month I see like, Hey, here's how much I'd like to spend.

Like what am I gonna project to spend next month? Where did I land? And it's very easy to see, like some expenses are fixed. You know, your, your, your mortgage, your rent, you know, your, your daycare expenses, they're, they're fixed. Other, other expenses, you're like, you know, I could shave off, I don't have to shop at Whole Foods every day 'cause it's a block away from my house.

I can just go to Costco and buy stuff for two weeks and just leave it and, and, and live off of that. So, um, I think they've just, my, what I've done personally is just, we don't buy things we don't need. And, um, what, you know, and we just try to like, keep an eye on like, what are the expenses we're spending money on?

Alcohol being one of them, right? Like, as a single parent, like, it doesn't make sense because I don't want to be upset at my, I don't want to be in a groggy mood the next morning, uh, if my kids need me at 5am in the morning, you know? I'm 

[00:36:05] David Syvertsen: telling you, it's, we're going to do an episode on this, haven't told Sam yet.

It's, this is the longest I've gone, you know, with either drinking or minimal drink. I had two beers at the Giants game last week. I needed more than two. Yeah. I did. I wish I had one too. But again, because I haven't drank it so long, it was, um, just haven't, didn't be able to, wasn't able to like keep anything down.

But moods, sleep, and how I feel just energy wise when I coach in the morning is, is a significant difference. So we don't want to go down that too, too, uh, deep that, that hole yet, because we'll do an actual episode on it. But I think that that's the number one thing is create that budget. If, if eating healthy and working out is too expensive for you, create the budget.

If you already have one of those. Um, view it as an investment, not just spending, right? And then, look at what else you can take money away. I know people that spend seven bucks on coffee every day. You know, and that to me, it's like, it's mind numbing, but they, they need it. You know, like, well, okay, if you need it, can you find it a more economic way to, do you have to actually go to Starbucks and get that coffee?

Can you do something at home? Ash made that change years ago. Makes her own, she was at Dunkin Donuts on the way to work every single day for years, and now she does it at home. And like immediately, I mean, I don't know the exact number, but it's got to be close to probably saving a thousand bucks a year on, on just coffee alone.

And I think all of us probably have things that financial, if there's financial constraints that are actually preventing you from working out from eating healthy, if that's really the issue, I can almost guarantee there's things you can do, you can cut out. that could provide you more money for the investment that you're making in the future.

[00:37:46] Sam Rhee: Do you guys both have a frivolous luxury that you still hang on to? Like that you still can't do without? I was gonna say fantasy football for you, but... 

[00:37:56] David Syvertsen: Well, I win money every year. Oh! Oh man, um.

Off the top of my head, I mean, we don't spend much either. Um, I mean, my truck is expensive. I'll say that. Um, I've never, I was never a big car guy until about six years ago and I'm still kind of not, but I love having a truck for so many reasons. And it's probably 200 more per month than what I used to spend.

I mean, cars like that in general are more expensive, but I could definitely have a less expensive car and, and not spend that. So if, you know, if we ever get to a point where we really need to cut back, that would probably be one of the first things that would have to go. How about you Ash? 

[00:38:36] Ashwin Venkatraman: Um, you know, uh, I didn't grow up with a lot of wealth, right?

So we didn't, um, we didn't have a lot of like traditions or things. And what's interesting is, uh, the last, I don't know, 8 out of the last 10 years or whatever, I've taken my kids on a, on a trip to Aruba to an all inclusive. It's the same all inclusive every time, I buy the deal on Black Friday, so it's super cheap.

Which one? Which one? The Tamarin. Okay. Yeah, it's, it's um, so I, we love it, but my kids have started, sort of have this idea in their head. This is our family tradition. We just go to Aruba every year. And I'm like, crap, to hear them talk about this is mind blowing to me. But I would say like, that's one of the things I, uh, you know.

There's a, again, being a single parent, like when, when there's no summer camp or no school, like I have no choice. I have to take that time off of work. And to me, rather than fighting about screen time at home, I'd rather just go somewhere. So we do a lot of travel and I try to play with credit card rewards and points and stuff.

So we'll get a free hotel night and, you know, or two in Baltimore. So we'll make a trip out to Baltimore or, you know, Boston. Like we'll do small trips and then we do like one nice, you know, you know, like Caribbean trip or something. All inclusive, obviously. Cause My kids come back with like, you know, six things of bread and they're like, this is going to be our breakfast, you know, six rolls of bread.

All inclusive 

[00:39:54] David Syvertsen: way to go. That's awesome. Uh, speaking of kids, um, you know, the fact that you're doing this, you know, I hate to say alone, right? I, um, but without having a spouse kind of like, you know, like you said, having a warm body in the house, having one body next to you. Um, what are some of the things that you've done as a parent and, you know, this can apply to all of us, but you know, your mind shifts a lot when you have the kid, you know, you start thinking like, all right, you want to be the example for them, you know, whether they can understand it yet or not.

You know, like I'm, I'm 30, uh, I don't even know where am I, 38, 37 now. And I can still recall things that my mom and dad did when I was 10 that I'm now picking up on. Yes. Of why they did it this way. Yep. And, um, and I think that's something that we don't always need to teach our kids right now. You better learn this lesson right now.

Like, but if you are constantly giving them action to look up to, they, in 20 years, might bring it in. Fitness is one of them. You know, do you, does, does that enter your mind? Do you ever feel like, hey, I'm alone in doing this? Or does that actually inspire you? the fact that, hey, you have even more pull here.

You have even more potential impact. 

[00:41:06] Ashwin Venkatraman: Yeah. I mean, um, both, right? Like it feels alone, but then, um, you know, there's just such, there's so many silver linings. Um, like, because my kids don't have a choice, but to like, I, all three of mine just go to everything. So someone has a soccer game, all three, you know, all three of my kids are there.

Right. I hope, ultimately, it's like they'll want to support people around them when they do things because they're just so used to being there. Or they come to Bison and they see me and I hope they'll want to do Bison. What I do, because of my situation, is Like if I'm gonna be at a sport, like if my kid is gonna do a sport, most likely, at least in the past, now it's changed for my older ones, but I would have had to be there anyway to watch.

So if I'm gonna be there anyway, why not just coach it? Right? Or join with them. So like, I always coached all their stuff while, you know, cause little kids, you don't need like knowledge of the sport. Now I couldn't coach them with soccer, but you know, I could before. Always coach their stuff. Always present with them.

All of us are always there. If one's playing soccer, maybe we're throwing around a football or kicking the soccer ball, you know, on the side and like doing something. If they're a bison, you know, maybe they're doing something after the class is over. So to me, it's just the intertwining of whatever athletic thing that they're doing, we're all just doing it as a family.

And it's funny because I asked my kids this morning before I came here, I'm like, I'd love some examples, what do you think when you know you have a father that like, is into health and fitness? And they had... No answers. They're like, it didn't even register them. They just thought I was always healthy. And they just thought, and you're a superhero.

Yeah. They just thought I was always healthy. And, and they go back to a lot of the stuff they say is reset. They're like, well, I'm like, what are you going to do for health? Like we're going to sleep. We try to sleep more. We eat healthy. We, you know, they said we go to bison, but you know, they exercise like all the points of reset.

That's awesome. By the way, reset. Uh, Jiffy's three kids and my three kids, so Susan Rhee has a fan following of at least six kids who religiously look at the excel sheet to see if she's still like on the top of the leaderboard every year in Reset. Really? That's so funny. She hasn't had 

[00:43:11] David Syvertsen: a day without a five on Reset ever, I think.

She is... She's a reset MVP. 

[00:43:17] Ashwin Venkatraman: I mean, if 

[00:43:18] Sam Rhee: I didn't know her and watch, see what she did personally, it would be hard to believe that she's that perfect. 

[00:43:23] David Syvertsen: But yeah, she is no, no crap. Like she, 

[00:43:28] Sam Rhee: she is a monster when it comes to that. Like she's so disciplined. And, and I think part of that is just, you know, you're right.

Like she's just always gotten into that habit, but you're that's, that's nice that, that people see that because I don't think she notices that I don't think she knows that people see that. Like. So that's kind of cool. Yeah. Like I 

[00:43:47] Ashwin Venkatraman: think she'll appreciate that. Every day. Like did, did the Susan get another five?

Is she still winning? I'm like 

[00:43:53] Sam Rhee: 0, 0, 0, 1, 0, 

[00:43:55] Ashwin Venkatraman: 1. Hey, but at least you're honest about it. 

[00:43:58] David Syvertsen: Very honest. Um, You're a soccer guy, right? No, 

[00:44:04] Ashwin Venkatraman: I played tennis. Tennis, 

[00:44:05] David Syvertsen: okay. Do you ever look at, you know, your children now and is there an overwhelming factor? And this is me asking you, like, I'm actually curious, I'd like your thought on this because I know this is coming for me.

They always come first, we know that. Their sports schedule. So many parents I know, like, when they tell me their kids sports schedule, I'm like, What the f like, what is going on? You know, like, every weekend, Sunday mornings. Like, when I grew up, Sundays were never a sports day. Period. And, you know, that comes from someone with a church background, and we wouldn't have been able to play sports on Sunday regardless, but my brother, Aaron, couldn't play, uh, Caden couldn't play padded football this year because their games and practices are games are Sunday mornings.

That's a no. That's a hard no. And everyone in Ridgewood's coming after me because the kid's so big, they're like, dude, that kid's gotta play football. Um, but then I, that's, that's just the start of it. It's like multiple practice, three different teams, your club team, your town team, your travel team, Saturdays, a trip, a Saturday, Sunday trip.

And You know, the first thing I look at is, A, my work schedule does not, right now, if my kid was 10, we'd have problems. Like, I'd have to move the schedule around at Bison big time. And maybe that'll happen someday, but the weekends, right? Like, I've already missed a couple soccer practices of Brock's, um, to coach Saturday classes.

And then, you throw in your own training. Right? Like you are, like what I said earlier in the podcast, you need to fill your cup as much as you can, right? So that when you are, you are your best self when you're there for your kids. Absolutely. The sports schedule, has that been a really, like, where do you make the decision?

Where do you say a hard no? Where do you have to give a little on the gym? Uh. Or do you just say yes to everything sports and then go try to find that hour, like you said? 

[00:45:58] Ashwin Venkatraman: So, you know, just to also rewind back a couple of years, uh, pre COVID. Right? Like, while I was still married and all that, like, I put my kids in everything.

So, there were four, I think five and four at the time, they're doing lacrosse, tennis, soccer, like, all these different things. Uh, swimming, everything. And, um, turns out, like, they didn't like, like, because maybe I forced them too young, too early into these things. So, because they don't want to see, like, my nine year old, who loves her best friend, would spend It would do anything to spend time with her best friend.

Her best friend's dad is coaching lacrosse and she's like, no, I don't want to do it. And I'm like, but you would get rides with your best friend to games. Like, you know, so I think, uh, pushing them is something I wish, you know, I think what you're doing with Brock, where he's just around all the time is probably the right thing to do and not like put them in stuff.

Right. So, um, but now as a single parent. I, I find it very, um, the other thing that's changed from when we were growing up is you could play multiple sports because you had multiple seasons. Soccer, any sport now, is an entire All year. All year. Yeah. Uh, travel, baseball, and Ridgewood? Yeah. I mean, every night in the summer, they had a Could you imagine in the summer like and travel guys have to play the club team as well Yeah, so they got practice in 

[00:47:15] David Syvertsen: the morning games weird to me, right?

[00:47:17] Ashwin Venkatraman: So weird, so so, you know, especially if you get good around 10 to anything Yeah, like you're not playing a lot of sports either, right? But for me today just this morning my kids my girls want to do gymnastics And I just can't I mean last week I was seven out of seven days with activities, right? Between, you know, flute, violin, soccer, you know, whatever other sports stuff we're doing.

I just, I don't have the capacity. Yeah. And my oldest two are the only ones doing stuff. My, my four year old hasn't even started yet. So I don't know what I'm going to 

[00:47:48] David Syvertsen: do. You know. That's the classic, like. You know, I find myself saying this all the time as a parent. Like, I'm like, just get through today.

Like, don't even worry about next week. Next, just get through today. And she'll be the YouTuber 

[00:47:58] Sam Rhee: that just opens crap at home. That's what you'll, you'll train her to do. 

[00:48:02] Ashwin Venkatraman: She, she's going to be a monster. She's going to be, she's going to kill it at life, but she's a little tough to parent right now. The other, one more thing I want to say on that guys is, um, uh, you know, what I tell my kids is I need them to do something.

That's athletic and hopefully team based. I don't care what it is. So they do soccer this year and if they're done with it, fine. Just tell me what else you're going to do that's going to keep you athletic. I need something that's a martial art because you know, they're girls and I want them to know how to defend themselves.

Um, and then something that's like intellectual to some degree, like a, you know, music thing or something. So, so if they can do those three, anything more than that for me is like icing on the cake if I can find the time to do it. I love that. That's good Yeah. 

[00:48:43] Sam Rhee: Agree. A thousand percent. 

[00:48:45] David Syvertsen: Now, the last topic on our outline here, you know, we've, we're guys, right?

We're talking about like logistics and working out and fixing problems, but a huge component to what this topic is about, parenting, relationships, trying to raise kids while also pursuing your own health and fitness goals. You know, the relationship factor for you, not for your kids, the relationship factor for you, you know, right now you've, you know, going through a divorce, you, you lost that.

And now, you know, you have something back with, with your girlfriend, Jeff. He was also a member here. Um, awesome, awesome power couple, uh, from my eyes. You know, where has that brought you mentally, you know, going through all these struggles? Because I remember one of the first things you talked about today was just like that feeling like you don't feel good about yourself.

You know, you don't feel like you're looking better or feeling you can't eat well, can't work out, going through all that stress. Yes, working out helps. Coming to Bison helps. I would make the argument that having that relationship, whether it be a dating relationship, friendships. You know, family, you know, those, those are the things that get you through those tough times and get you back on the track.

It's not just a workout. You know, a workout is a dopamine rush that makes you feel good for an hour or two. And then you're back to normal life. Discuss some of the relationship things that have helped you kind of pursue fitness and health. Yeah. 

[00:50:06] Ashwin Venkatraman: Um. So just in general, like, you know, Plutonic relationships or, or more, the, the more, like, crazy stuff you go through in life, the, you find out, like, there's less and less people that can truly relate to, to these different aspects of it, right?

Like, just, you know, being a single parent that, that's 100 percent full time single parent, I can't relate to a lot of dads at my, at the school my kids go to, because You know, some of them don't know the names of their teachers or the activities their kids are doing. They just go to work all day and they come in late at night, you know.

So, um, to find your people is also like a difficult thing. Like, who's, who can you talk to? So, like, at least, and thank you guys for inviting me here because I'm very boring conversation in a lot of places because all I can talk about is kids and CrossFit. So, this is like perfect. That's all the stories I have to talk about.

You're a 

[00:50:56] David Syvertsen: celebrity here, so. 

[00:50:58] Ashwin Venkatraman: So, so, um, uh, so. So I ended up finding someone. It was a very happenstance thing, right? Like I was, uh, you know, I knew her from the past and I reached out to her because I was like, hey, I'm looking to volunteer because now my Saturdays have opened up. And then she was like, no, she's going through a tough, you know, divorce or whatever.

And I'm like, oh, me too. And it just kind of happened like, you know, and then, but I was only coming to the gym twice a week, three times a week for the first, like, two years, uh, two and a half years, and I was always getting hurt, um, because I, like, it took me a while to realize, like, oh, it's not just brute strength for things like cleans, where, you know, I was putting all the weight on my fingers instead of resting it on, on my shoulder.

Once I, once I, uh, gotten a relationship, she's also very into... You know, sports and health and all this stuff. So like this became our date, like, like we would come on the noon classes here. And that was sort of the only time we got to see each other. Cause she's got three kids and a busy life. I've got three kids in a busy life.

So this is our date. Um, we go to, you know. Dr. Marni at Iron PT, and like, those were our date nights. On Wednesday nights, we would go to Dr. Marni and then we would go like, you know, have dinner or something afterwards. That's so CrossFit. 

[00:52:13] David Syvertsen: And what you guys talk about there? Our workouts. 

[00:52:18] Ashwin Venkatraman: So like for me, I don't know if I can ever have a relationship now with someone that Doesn't have such a big emphasis on, on health and, and, and working out and maybe even like CrossFit.

Like I might've narrowed down the range to just people that can do CrossFit at this 

[00:52:31] David Syvertsen: point. Well, Don Falls said there's going to be 20 to 30 million people CrossFitting in the next 10 years. So the, the crop will grow. 

[00:52:38] Ashwin Venkatraman: CrossFit dating app. That's the next step. 

[00:52:42] David Syvertsen: No, that, that's huge. It's just like, like finding your people, you know, and because again, from the outside, a lot of people view us, CrossFitters, as like weirdos, right?

A little too into working out. Like, why do you do that? Like, why do you have to try so hard? And, you know, it's never, you don't need to be understood. I think we all need to know that. We don't need to be understood by other people. So stop going down that path. But you want someone to understand you and you want to be able to understand someone else.

And I love that. The two of you, I mean, I've coached the 715, we used to have 815 classes, and I remember we used to talk about that when we took the 815 off the schedule. You and Jiffy were the two people I talked to the most, and Julia Chernova. And, um, and, uh, that was, that was like a roadblock for me in terms of just like wiping the slate clean and just taking the class off the schedule because there's a lot of reasons to do it.

But I was like, man, I don't want to mess with what you guys have going on. Like you, you really do start caring about the people here more than the business. And that's been our situation for 10 years now. It's like, if a decision is really going to cause a problem for someone else, you almost don't want to make it.

In business, you have to do that sometimes, especially when there's so many people involved, you're never going to make everyone happy, right? Whether it's about finances, schedule, um, Yeah, playlist, right? Like you're never going to make everyone happy here. But that was something that I remember seeing because you and Jiffy multiple times brought your kids to an A15 class in their pajamas.

Like they were clearly ready for bed and probably a little past what you guys want to keep them up for. But again, this is what we talk about. There's give and take, like you have to get here, have to see each other, need that relationship, need that workout. And there are ways to make it work. I bet if other people saw that, that didn't know what was going on, they'd be like, what are they doing?

Why are there kids here at 9 o'clock at night? And it's like, well, hey, they're going through something. And this is, and I actually applaud it. I respect it. You know, more than the person that won't go because they don't want to do it, to be honest with you. Because that's hard to do. You don't want to put your kids in that situation, but you know there's some give and take with everything.

So... 

[00:54:49] Ashwin Venkatraman: Kids are resilient. Yeah. They also need like, uh, you know, maybe it's just because of where I live, but it seems like a lot of the kids in my town just have it really, really nice. Like including my kids, they're one of the luckiest people on the planet, no matter what we've been through. Um, and so some little, some adversity is like, they need it.

They need some adversity. Otherwise they won't know how to handle it when they grow up. So great point. You know, 

[00:55:14] Sam Rhee: what did you, so have you tried, did you try before Jeffy like dating non CrossFit people? What was that like? Um, I, 

[00:55:20] Ashwin Venkatraman: I've. Only dated two people my entire life. So I met my ex wife when I was 16 in high school Wow, and then and then we got married and you know at 40 I got I got divorced and I was like I am never dating or getting married or any of this ever again because you know I just need to focus on myself and then Before I was even ready, like this happened.

So, and I love it and she's great. So it just, I didn't, I've never dated. Wow. You'd never 

[00:55:45] Sam Rhee: been on the market for very 

[00:55:46] David Syvertsen: long. No, never. It's a good sign. You know, you, you became a free agent and you got scooped up. That's something you should be proud of, you know? Um, Well, hey, man, I mean this was this was awesome.

You know, I really do think that you know This topic was put on our table by like I told you a birdie Let's said like hey, this is a suggestion and right away. I was like, we're gonna do that at some point and I It's easy for me to say yes to the topic awesome But I know like I have so much respect for you before this, but I have even more For the fact that you're just so open and able to talk about it, um, I think it's good for you, but I also think it's good for everyone that's listening, um, like I think you guys should all reach out to Ashwin and just, just say thank you to him, uh, because not many people could, could A, go through what you did and come out on the other side stronger like you have, right?

But also be very open about it and be willing to help others. Um, so I just want to thank you a lot for, for coming on. It really 

[00:56:45] Sam Rhee: puts my life into perspective as well. Like, thank you. I will not complain for at least a week about my schedule, 

[00:56:54] Ashwin Venkatraman: at least a week, 

[00:56:55] Sam Rhee: and I will be very grateful for the things that I am able to do and have a greater appreciation of the gym and what it means to me just listening to you talk about it.

Like that's, that's effing 

[00:57:09] Ashwin Venkatraman: amazing. Yeah. No, thank you guys for, for inviting me. Um, I don't think I would have gotten through. A lot of the really dark times of the last few years without bison. Um, so you know, I, I really appreciate it. 

[00:57:20] David Syvertsen: Yeah. All right. Thanks for sharing, man. All right. Thank you guys. We'll see you next week.