S05E152: Maintaining Fitness Through Pregnancy with Tara Porfido: What All CrossFitters Can Learn
Can you maintain peak physical fitness while navigating pregnancy and motherhood? Join us in this inspiring episode of the HerdFit Podcast with coaches David Syvertsen @davesy85 and Sam Rhee @bergencosmetic as we welcome our special guest, Tara Porfido.
From discovering CrossFit in a college club to finding her community at a gym during grad school, Tara's commitment to her workouts, even through her recent pregnancy, highlights her exceptional attitude and consistency.
From the standard six-week recovery period to foundational exercises and the emotional rollercoaster postpartum, we discuss the multifaceted aspects of reclaiming both physical and mental well-being. Tara's story sheds light on the pressures women face to regain their pre-pregnancy fitness levels and the importance of realistic goals and self-compassion.
Discover the power of community support in navigating pregnancy and postpartum life. A tight-knit group of pregnant women and new mothers provided Tara with the motivation and camaraderie needed to stay active.
We also reflect on how the mental toughness fostered in CrossFit can translate into parenting challenges for all CrossFit athletes, from sleepless nights to life's daily demands.
Finally, we share insights on how the CrossFit community can better support pregnant women and new mothers, emphasizing the invaluable role of community resources and setting personal, attainable goals for the journey ahead. Join us for an episode filled with insights, inspiration, and the strength of community through fitness and motherhood.
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S05E152: Maintaining Fitness Through Pregnancy with Tara Porfido: What All CrossFitters Can Learn
Transcript
Speakers
David Syvertsen
Host
00:05
Hey everybody, welcome to the Herd Fit Podcast with Dr Sam Rhee and myself, coach David Syverton. This podcast is aimed at helping anyone and everyone looking to enhance their healthy lifestyle through fitness, nutrition and, most importantly, mindset. All right, welcome back to the Herd Fit Podcast. I am Coach David Syreton. I'm here with my co-host, dr and Coach Sam Rhee, and sitting in between us we have a very special guest today, someone I've been eyeing for the Hurt Fit Podcast for over a year. Little does she know. All right, this is I hope I'm saying your last name, right Tara Porfito. Yes, tara, thank you so much for coming on Memorial Day weekend. Yes, tara, thank you so much for coming on Memorial Day weekend. Busy weekend, busy girl, and we really do appreciate you giving us your time on a Sunday morning. Welcome to the Herd Fit Podcast.
Tara Porfido
Guest
00:51
Thanks for having me. I'm really excited to be here. I'm an avid listener.
David Syvertsen
Host
00:55
Are you? Oh, nice, good, all right, cool Brownie points for you the next time we write your score on the whiteboard. Sam, you coach Tara. Yeah, sam is an early morning coach and Tara has been a staple at the 7 am class for the most part. That's usually when she comes day to day and she's just a staple there. She's one of those people that when she walks into the class it just feels different, and when she's not there, you notice she's not there. So that means you can never take a day off. Tara, sam, what's it like coaching Tara, tara?
Sam Rhee
Co-host
01:24
is one of the most I mean I hate to sound sappy, but one of the most perfect CrossFit athletes that we have at the gym. She has perfect form. Her attitude is always on point, never down. I can never tell if you have a bad day, because you are always, always level and it's not like you're so, you know, cheerleader or anything, you're just like on point all the time. And we were just talking right now about how someone asked if you actually had a baby, because that's how consistent you are, your performance, always.
01:55
I just saw you this past week and we were doing hero week and you partnered with uh, was it Katie Miller, I think for um and you guys, you know, and she is in excellent, excellent condition Big time. Yeah, your, her fitness level is very high and you're and you two just absolutely crushed it and it just blew me away. The, uh, the people that are really elite athletes in terms of not just performance but mental attitude, uh, emotional I don't want to say stability, because that sounds weird, but just emotional consistency, consistency, you know, that's what I think Tara embodies.
David Syvertsen
Host
02:33
Yeah. So I mean, let's get, let's dive into before the main topic of choice today. I want to kind of dive into what Sam calls your CrossFit start story, because you know we could speak highly of you for the next hour and but I kind of before we do that, and kind of give a real life example of what you've been going through over the past year. I would like to kind of just get some background, without going too deep on when and why did you start CrossFit and you know just kind of where did it start, why did it start and what kept you in it.
Tara Porfido
Guest
03:10
Yeah. So actually I have a kind of interesting story that I started CrossFit in college. There was like a club, just like a bunch of people who I guess somebody was leading the way and was like somehow trained in CrossFit and we did CrossFit style workouts in just the weightlifting gym. We would just come early and that was really my first introduction to CrossFit. It wasn't like standard CrossFit but it was CrossFit style workouts and that's what got me hooked. And then after college I realized, wow, crossfit in a traditional setting is really expensive and I just graduated from college so I didn't quite have the money. But when I started grad school I was really seeking community again and I've always found community in athletics growing up. So I was like this is going to be the place where I find some people. So I joined a crossfit gym then and, funny enough, met my husband there.
03:54
Oh wow, so that's actually. It was a good community, yeah.
David Syvertsen
Host
04:04
I was just with my family yesterday celebrating my father's 70th birthday.
04:05
So all all my brothers, we were all sitting back and everyone else was inside and my dad was talking about how so many of these little decisions that you make shape the biggest things that happen in your life yeah marriage, kids, you know, and just hopping into a crossfit gym, that particular crossfit gym, it really did shape your life and we can go through hundreds of stories at this gym alone of where you know whether it's a spouse related, best friend relationships, and it really does center around personal connection and that's really what I think a lot of people some come into CrossFit wanting that. A lot of people come into it wanting a better fitness program, get ripped, get strong, compete, but then that personal connection is really what keeps us in the game and actually keeps us on the path of pursuing health and fitness. So that's a really cool start story. So the main reason why we have Tara on today is she is how long has it been now since you gave birth?
05:01
It was three months, really. That's it. That's insane, holy mother. I was thinking it was, wow, it is only May. I was thinking it was like five, six months ago, wow. So Tara had a baby three months ago and she was one of those that worked out pretty much to the end. When was your last workout prior to giving birth?
Tara Porfido
Guest
05:22
The last workout was the morning before I was induced.
David Syvertsen
Host
05:26
Whoa okay, and that's actually, I want to say, common. But we've seen, I think Nicola Carlo PR'd on her due date one time with a back squat. Doesn't surprise me. Did you have expectations of making that far and working out as hard and as consistently as you did during your pregnancy?
Tara Porfido
Guest
05:46
I mean, this was my first child so I guess I didn't really know what to expect at all. But I had the goal of working out through the pregnancy just because mentally I think I needed it. I knew that this has always been an outlet for me physically and mentally, but I didn't know what was really to come. So it was kind of a take it day by day thing and I was really happy to make it as far as I did and I couldn't have done it without the community.
David Syvertsen
Host
06:11
Absolutely.
Sam Rhee
Co-host
06:13
Yeah, I mean, I think most women listen. First of all, not all women can work out that far up, you know, for medical issues, health issues. Sure, we've had a fair number of women who have been able to work up very close to term, but it really depends on what, like you said, what you're capable of doing. I do remember and this is probably the common complaint that most really pregnant women have is like that bar path.
David Syvertsen
Host
06:39
Yeah.
Sam Rhee
Co-host
06:40
It messes with your mechanics. Those cleans just get wider and wider as they keep going.
Tara Porfido
Guest
06:45
Well, I remember you having me demo cleans like a couple weeks after I came back. I was like Sam. I don't know, my bar path might be all screwed up from the last nine months of my life.
David Syvertsen
Host
06:56
Of course he did. He probably norected a few of your push-ups as well.
Sam Rhee
Co-host
07:01
She's still a cleaner than at least half our gym, probably in terms of her form.
David Syvertsen
Host
07:05
The relentless coach, sam Reed. Now, what were the early days like compared to the end? Because, again, from a perspective of, I've never been pregnant, my wife was pregnant and she worked out for most of her pregnancy as well. Was there from her experience and I want to just get your feedback on this early on? There was a little bit from her experience and I want to just get your feedback on this Early on.
07:26
There was a little bit more mental hesitation Should I do this? Should I not do this? What woman should I sub out? What woman should I sub in? By the end of it it was just like, hey, I know my pattern now, but now I have physical restrictions, right, like I really can't do toes to bar anymore, right? Can you kind of just walk us through some of like the mental hesitations that you had at the beginning of your pregnancy and did you seek, you know, medical advice? Was it based on feel, based on experience of others in the gym, and then compare those to some of the physical constraints that you had towards the end, just like the struggle of them both.
Tara Porfido
Guest
08:00
Yeah, I think mentally it was challenging. Just, you don't know what you can and can't do. You know your body is changing. You don't quite have the outward signs that your body is changing, but as a woman you feel these things changing and you're like what is safe, what is not?
08:14
This is my first pregnancy. I want to do all the right things to make sure that I'm healthy and that the baby's healthy, but what does that actually mean is a big hesitation. I think I had a little bit of an advantage, having a background as a physical therapist, understanding like what my body can and can't, should and shouldn't do in that time, but there was still definitely a lot of hesitation. Actually, crossfit, I think more recently, has put out a nice resource of some like modification options specific to pregnant women that I shared with some of the other women in the gym who were going through it, because you really just I mean, as far as being a physical therapist, I have my own mindset of what and how to modify things, but it was just nice to have a little bit more of a CrossFit specific guideline for that, so that helped.
David Syvertsen
Host
08:57
Yeah, absolutely.
Sam Rhee
Co-host
08:58
Sam yeah, I think most of the women that I have sort of gone through pregnancy have mentioned the pelvic floor as being a real concern, either before, during, after. How did that sort of play into your thoughts about, you know, fitness and pregnancy?
Tara Porfido
Guest
09:13
Yeah, so that's a funny thing that you said, because I actually did start to seek out a pelvic floor physical therapist. I mean probably because of my bias, but, like you said, so many women have these struggles during pregnancy and postpartum. So it's like why not try to address it from the get go, even if you're not having any serious issues, just understanding how your pelvic floor works and how to properly activate or relax those muscles can really benefit you as you go through the pregnancy and feeling, you know, secure in all of your lifts and all of that stuff really makes a difference. So I would give a plug to I'm not a pelvic floor therapist, but I give a plug to those women because I really think that's something that could benefit a lot of women inside the pregnancy term and then even beyond.
David Syvertsen
Host
09:57
I was going to say that's a pre and post birth. Okay, how, how much? How long after should you be on that pelvic floor physical therapy Is it? Do you start right after or is it wait until you get back in the gym?
Tara Porfido
Guest
10:11
So I guess it's one of those things. Unfortunately, that it depends Um for me, since I saw the pelvic floor therapist beforehand and had um a good amount of just musculoskeletal knowledge going into it, I kind of just used what I learned from her in the beginning and then carried it over postpartum. I didn't go see her again postpartum, but I also wasn't having any issues that were really apparent, so you can go pretty soon after. I mean the time frame that they tend to tell you with regard to tissue healing is just that six week time frame. But there's really so much you can do to train your pelvic floor and reestablish the coordination between your core and pelvic floor early on before you do return to the gym. So if you do have hopes of getting back to the gym, having someone to guide you in that is really helpful.
David Syvertsen
Host
11:00
Probably those are the initial steps to take. If you're going to do this by the book, yeah, definitely.
Sam Rhee
Co-host
11:10
Did you do?
Tara Porfido
Guest
11:11
it by the book coming back.
David Syvertsen
Host
11:11
You already know the answer dude, I don't know if I want to publish yeah, I wouldn't recommend not following what your doctor okay, yeah, because I I don't.
11:19
I don't even recall the exact date of how long, because I the reason I asked that is not to put you on the spot. The reason I asked that is there a real template that everyone should be held to? Do you have any thoughts on that? Again, we're not giving medical advice on this podcast, but is there? It's almost like when someone hurts their shoulder here or knee. We get asked. I get us all the time.
11:42
You know how long until I can come back and a I'm not a doctor or physical therapist or anything close to it. So everything I could say is anecdotal, because my anecdotal is oh, I saw this person do that and that person do this. And I think one thing from my perspective that has coached probably four or five dozen women who have had babies, including repeats over the years that they ask me when should I come back? And I always say I'm not the person to ask and I have no problem saying that. But one thing I can say is that it's been all over the map. Some people I've seen four to five weeks, some people it's been 12 weeks. And do you think there is a template or is it something that I know it's going to be a case by case basis, but is there something, a barometer, that maybe you could say? Hey, you know from my experience or from others that I've worked with and been around and learned from. This is the barometer I want to use, rather than a set timeline.
Tara Porfido
Guest
12:36
Yeah, I think the six weeks mark is that standard. That's pretty standard as far as recommendations go, just because, especially depending on what type of labor you had, the tissue might need a lot of healing. But I think what we often forget is maybe things look and nobody can tell what's going on inside. I think that we also have to recognize that your uterus is still shrinking, like there are a lot of things that are happening internally that we forget is still going on and we're like I feel like I can get back.
David Syvertsen
Host
13:06
And you want to get back.
Tara Porfido
Guest
13:07
Yeah, internal things that do need more time to heal, but that doesn't mean that you can't be doing some level of exercise, like maybe you shouldn't be doing your heavy lifts and coming back to the gym in that regard, but there are plenty of foundational exercises that are going to help to prepare you to come back to the gym, that are going to require you to coordinate your core, pelvic floor and reestablish that muscle memory. Yep, because especially, you know, during pregnancy, all those abdominal muscles are.
David Syvertsen
Host
13:37
Separation.
Tara Porfido
Guest
13:38
Yeah yeah. Like separation, they're just lengthened, so the ability to utilize them as we used to isn't quite there.
David Syvertsen
Host
13:45
Okay, sam, I know you always like to say this in the podcast. I'm a plastic surgeon. I am not, that's right, but I still. I always say, every time you bring that up, I'm like your opinion is credible, much more credible than a CrossFit level two coach. But do you have thoughts on again how long something should wait, what they should not do, what they should feel? You know, because I like just to give as many people as many different perspectives as possible.
Sam Rhee
Co-host
14:12
Well, there's the physical part of it which we're talking about right now. I think one of the biggest parts which we have talked to women about is the mental part of it. It's also your opinion of yourself, your self-esteem we were just talking about before, about how you had an emotional moment because you didn't have your bar muscle ups yet, even though you're how far post three months. But I do know that a lot of women afterwards, because of the changes induced by pregnancy, their belly looks different, their skin looks different. We saw Annie Thor's daughter talk about this a lot post-pregnancy, about her rectus diastasis. I've talked to other high-level athletes about it. Was this something that I mean? I don't want to sort of put you on the spot about how you feel about yourself, but I do know that a lot of women struggle with. I was a CrossFitter. Look at me. I was running around in these shorts and doing all this stuff and now my body is so different and I don't like that. That's a very sort of common issue to grapple with.
Tara Porfido
Guest
15:16
Yeah, and I think it's not really that talked about either. I think where I had that struggle initially was in that first trimester of pregnancy. Your body is changing and you don't quite have the bump to show that you're actually pregnant. And being women who CrossFit, we have an expectation of the way our bodies look, and so having that as a challenge initially was really actually overwhelming to have these body image issues that you just I didn't even realize I would encounter. And then, similarly, now postpartum, it's like you have this expectation to be able to look the way you did and you have to kind of just shift your expectations and give yourself grace, like, yes, I just had a baby three months ago. I can't expect my body changing for nine, 10 months and now it's not going to just snap back to where it was. It's a process and that's okay, because you grew a child inside of you, like that's a beautiful thing and you can't discount that. So it's just, there's a trade off really.
David Syvertsen
Host
16:12
Yeah, I mean I call the moms at Bison I've done this for I think eight years is like they're super superheroes, the moms here. It's like, it's amazing. I actually I've said this a million times. I'll say I'll die on the sill too that I think women in crossfit have changed women in fitness more than any group of women ever. Um, from a performance standard, strength standard, strength standard they keep getting stronger. Did you not see the recent hero workout that came out that 155 RX for guys, it's 135 for women. Why is that the case? They just keep getting stronger. They're probably going to be stronger than us someday.
16:49
But even take the physical stuff out of it Mentally, I do strongly think that women can handle things like this, emotionally, physically, that men could never do. I don't want to turn this into a men versus women podcast, but like it is like I think they're superheroes. I really do Like Tara is one of them and it really it's like when you hear the growing a human inside of you, it's like every time I hear someone say that, I'm like it's amazing how they can do that. Still work out A couple months later, still work out again. And then I look at some of the women in this gym. I don't want to name them one by one right now because I know I'll forget one. They're better athletes now than they were pre-baby 100%, and it's amazing to me that they can be around it and I want to kind of touch on that a little.
17:32
Tara is that we talked about some of these physical, objective, medical reasons, but I want to talk about a little bit more of the connection that you have with some of the women in the gym. Be on both sides, right. You've been the pregnant woman that was about to have your first baby while still working out and going through all these like firsts. Now you are on the other side of it. You're on the other side of the bridge where there's women in this gym that at some point will have a baby. It might be this year, it might be in five years, but they are listening to this right now and they're going to take some words that you have a little bit of pressure here, but I want you to just discuss how did you lean into the community All right, both CrossFit, bison community, but CrossFit, you know macro the world community through a social media and either draw inspiration, advice from, like how important was that for you as you were going through some of these changes?
Tara Porfido
Guest
18:23
yeah, so, first and foremost, the community here at bison was what drew me to continue to work out every single day, so especially in that first trimester, you're tired. I mean you're tired throughout most of your life.
18:39
And what brought me to the gym was the community and I really do owe a lot to Bison and the women here and the men, really the whole community, to support me on that. And then we had a lot of women who were also pregnant in the gym, so that community in itself was a smaller community, but there were nine of us.
David Syvertsen
Host
18:55
Yeah, I was going to say there's nine. I don't think we ever had that many at once community, but there were nine of us.
Tara Porfido
Guest
18:58
Yeah, I was gonna say there's nine. I don't think we ever had that many at once, which was crazy. I mean, it was so important to be able to come in because you were someone else was looking towards you too. You know, like we would all check in on each other. We would all be like, how are you modifying today's workout? Just having that.
19:13
And then, even beyond that, we had women who were beyond their time of pregnancy, who were giving me encouragement and even just passing things down, like the Bokes were great about giving us some stuff. Karen McKinney gave me some of her maternity clothes. Coda that's awesome. I can't tell you the amount of times I said to my husband I am so thankful for the Bison community during this phase of our life, because the support that we're getting is just amazing life, because the support that we're getting is just amazing. And then you look towards the more broader community, the crossfit community, and a lot of other women were also pregnant. Annie thoris daughter was pregnant right around the same time I was um, and you just have all these awesome crossfit moms who are on that elite level annie right, carl saunders, tia oh my god, watching her work out like this weekend, that was crazy, yeah, I mean especially when she was born, especially when she was born next week.
Sam Rhee
Co-host
20:02
Yeah, and I remember watching her work out when she was pregnant, doing box jumps and these things, and she's not just pregnant but extremely pregnant, yeah Right. And I think CrossFit, more than anything else, has redefined what it means to be healthy and fit during pregnancy.
Tara Porfido
Guest
20:19
I think the challenge is looking at those women, though, and having that expectation. Like Annie, just came back two weeks postpartum.
David Syvertsen
Host
20:27
Yeah, and Someone else did too. Do you know the name? Andrea Nistler.
Sam Rhee
Co-host
20:32
Oh, yes, she's. Am I saying your name correctly? Yeah, nistler, she's the. She was with CrossFit man.
David Syvertsen
Host
20:39
She was on Froning's team for many years and she qualified for a semifinal, Open Division and worldwide 35-39. I think she did the semifinals quarterfinals four weeks post. It was top five in the world.
Tara Porfido
Guest
20:49
So like, as much as that's super encouraging, it's also like, oh my gosh, should I have that? Expectation of myself? And really, you know, comparison is the thief of joy. Expectation of myself.
David Syvertsen
Host
20:57
And really, you know, comparison is the thief of joy. It absolutely is.
Tara Porfido
Guest
20:59
And we can't compare ourselves to these super elite athletes. Every woman is different, every body is different, everybody's pregnancy journey is different and you can't have those expectations. You just have to. You know, meet yourself where you're at and and go from there.
David Syvertsen
Host
21:12
So, touching on that, like in terms of of where you are right now, what are some of your current fears of coming back? Because you're back in it. You're here four or five days a week. You're doing great from my coaching perspective, like watching you move and, you know, inching your way up, like every week, I feel like seeing something a little bit like whether it's intensity, whether it's a load, whether it's a quality of movement, whether it's a movement in general. So, but I know there's a different voice in your head. Can you touch on you know even what happened this past week Just some of the fears you have in relation to your goals, because I think we all have internal fear of not reaching a goal. Can you touch on that a little bit, just from emotional standpoint, physical standpoint?
Tara Porfido
Guest
21:55
Yeah, I mean there's definitely a shift now. It's like will I ever get back to where I was? It's like the question that lingers in the back of your head, of course. And of course you look around and you see all these women who, some of who went through CrossFit while they were pregnant, others who came to CrossFit after having all their kids, and you're like, okay, they can do it. They're like, like you've said, there are so many badass moms in this community. It's very inspiring and it does give you a little peace of mind. You're like, OK, I can work towards it, but I do have to pare back a little bit right now, and sometimes that's not a bad thing. You know, starting back from the basics and really building your foundation a little bit stronger might end up paying off in the end. But I definitely do question will I get back? Am I going to pee during every?
Sam Rhee
Co-host
22:40
day Double under workout.
Tara Porfido
Guest
22:42
Those little things You're like. I just don't know.
David Syvertsen
Host
22:47
Yeah, I mean, and you're still in that I don't know phase, and I think that's a sign of humility that you naturally have pre this.
22:55
But even now, I think humility is being tested in this and that it's okay to say I don't know.
23:00
Like I always say, that's one of the clear signs of humility in a person is can they say that out loud to someone?
23:05
Like I don't know, like you don't know if you'll get this, this, you don't know if your goal is going to have to be this, but it's okay to you know, live, go through the process and then if you have to kind of recalculate your goals or just simply be more patient, you know to reach those goals. That's something every CrossFitter can relate to, baby or not. You know that we can have the expectations in our head to reach a certain level or get a certain movement or hit a certain lift, but it may simply just take more time than you initially anticipated and because of that it's going to kind of check the humility factor. Can you just be more patient, keep grinding, keep working, understanding that you can decide if it's going to happen, but you don't get to decide when it's going to happen, and like that that's a big part of CrossFit in general and I think that's just kind of being exemplified through the situation you're going through.
Sam Rhee
Co-host
23:52
As I know, a lot of parents have said this, both men and women, but especially women that once they had a child, their reasons for working out or their motivations changed a little bit. A lot of it was for themselves. Now there's a greater purpose to it to stay healthier for your child, to stay fit, for your child, to be the best mom that you can be for your child, know being physically fit. What kind of perspective shifts have you had now that you have a baby that you have at home?
Tara Porfido
Guest
24:24
Oh, totally. I mean, even just in the midst of a hard workout, I, in the back of my head, I'm like what example will I end up setting for my daughter now down the road? And she's gonna. I mean, she came to one one workout at the gym which was a little bit of was that the open experience?
David Syvertsen
Host
24:41
but was that the wasn't the open party, was it? No, okay, that was you at the open party, yeah coaching.
Tara Porfido
Guest
24:46
I think mike was coaching okay and brit storms also brought me okay. I was like, okay, this is a pregnancy, this is a friendly environment. You know, it's very different to bring the child to a workout versus having some alone time?
25:00
You don't have to be a parent. But in the back of your mind you think, okay, I'm setting now an example for my child. I have to have a certain level of fitness to. You know, you want to be I mean, it's way down the road, but like I want to be able to be there when I have grandchildren, you know you do start to have a different perspective because you know that there's something more beyond that, and health has been. You know, health is the thing that gets us there and that's what CrossFit is really for me. So it has been a big motivator, having now a child, which I'm sure you can both also speak to as well.
David Syvertsen
Host
25:37
Absolutely. I mean, there's so much that changes A goal-wise B just logistically. You know, like you don't get to control how much you're sleeping before these workouts anymore, even just sometimes. Nutritionally you can get a little bit tougher. But yeah, I want to touch on the goal setting from a. Let's get away from performance, right. Like I know you want your muscle ups and you will get your muscles back and I actually have a feeling you're going to get your ring muscle ups this year. That's one of my predictions for you.
26:05
But the um, you know the, the mental goals of of knowing that, what this can do emotionally for you, because being a first time being a parent in general is hard, but being a first time, like going around the sun one time. You know that that first year there's just so many firsts where you feel like you know and like we talked about that one time. It's like you get advice from everyone and a lot of the advice does not agree with each other. So you're just like what do I do? So at some point I stopped. I think I was even two months and I'm like I'm just we're just doing this our way, you know, and you know that it is very emotionally challenging.
26:36
You don't want to always bring those problems to the gym either. You know like other people are dealing with their own problems and you don't want to always come in here. You want to be able to come in here and escape it for an hour and that that emotional strength that you can get from. I always like things that feed into each other. Right Like me, pursuing better CrossFit whether it's health or performance, should make me a better parent, and me trying to be a better parent and husband and owner and coach should make me a better CrossFitter. Can you find any parallels between trying to strengthen yourself emotionally at the gym and how it affects you as a parent, and even vice versa?
Tara Porfido
Guest
27:09
Yeah, it's actually funny. I was just talking to Beth, who is now a little over a week postpartum, and I was checking in on her seeing how she was doing and she was like mentally it's really hard and we were both like reflecting on how CrossFit has really helped to build our mental toughness.
27:26
you know, there are so many times during a workout where you're like I just want to quit. This is not fun and you really have to push through, and that's a lot what I feel like the last three months of my life has been. You know, this is challenging, I challenging, I'm not sleeping, I don't know what I'm doing and you just find it in you to push through. And I think that CrossFit helps to breed that toughness.
David Syvertsen
Host
27:46
That's awesome.
Tara Porfido
Guest
27:48
Beth totally agreed. I mean, she was another one who CrossFitted until like literally the last day.
David Syvertsen
Host
27:52
Really, yeah, yeah, she did, which was amazing, past the day.
Tara Porfido
Guest
27:57
Yeah, she went past the day. She was amazing, really awesome to watch.
David Syvertsen
Host
28:01
Yeah, I mean overcoming difficult tasks. I just got done listening to something this morning prior to coming to the gym. There's these times where you kind of want to shut it down and be lazy and sit on the couch and scroll and not go to the gym and not go to work and not take care of errands and not clean up the house, go to the gym and not go to work and not take care of errands and not clean up the house and I do. I do find myself you know, not coming from a uh, just gave birth perspective, but from a parent perspective that where I'm just like I wish I could just have a day where I don't have to do anything. You know, like we, we have a rule at the house now that if you say a curse, you get put into timeout, and I've been put in time out about four or five times by my four-year-old son, and sometimes I'm like Brock. Can you put me into time out for all day please? I will go to my room all day, just like I'll curse all day if that puts me in my room.
28:51
But there's a negative to that. Even though I short-term desire it, I do think the more time we spend in solitude and not wanting to overcome difficult tasks. It makes you think about your problems more and it makes you feel sorry for yourself more and it makes you not get that dopamine spike of hey, I got something done, whether it's a simple errand down the street, you got grocery shopping done with a baby, or you got a really hard workout done at the gym. Uh that, I just did a workout with Alex. I was about 24 minutes into a 40 minute workout and I was like, bro, if I was by myself I probably would have stopped and but we over, and I felt you get a little bit of a high when you're done, like you did it, you know, and like same thing with your parenting, like those sleepless nights where they're sick or they're not getting down or they keep coming to your room and you look at the clock, you're like I got to work the next day.
29:41
This is awful, this is terrible. You get up, you get it done, no matter what you have to, and then, like there is a sense of like I did it, you know, like I didn't give up, I didn't quit. That's one of the biggest parallels I have found to CrossFit and being a first time parent. Sam, your kids are a little bit older, yeah, and they're perfect so I know.
Sam Rhee
Co-host
30:01
But I just hear what you guys are saying and I remember going thinking and doing those things and thinking I would not be a good old parent because I don't have the energy anymore to do those things. And it's the same thing with CrossFit. I look at what you guys are doing and I'm like boy, I'm glad that I'm not able to do those things and I'm glad I'm not doing those things. But I think what it is is you take the situation that you're in and you do the best you can. No-transcript while you guys were talking. Is it that the personality, the tough personalities, gravitate towards CrossFit and that's why we are who we are in it? Or is it that CrossFit helps toughen us? And it's a little combination of both. Like you have to have a little bit of a tough mindset to embrace that, but then when you go through it with all these workouts, it helps to continue to toughen you up a little bit.
31:17
And I think it's the combination of both that I have seen in the best athletes at our gym and I'm not saying best physically, I'm saying best in terms of challenging themselves. I don't care if they're scaling it every day or they're RXing everything, like the ones that I see, who approach life and their challenges and the gym the best. Have that I would say growth mindset, where you're really I mean it's such a cliche, but it's true though. It's okay to be cliche if it's true you just see them take every challenge and use it. And I'm not perfect at it. I definitely have my days where I'm just like really down on myself, down on everything. But the community, looking at you, you, everyone else out there, I just think where can I take my examples? And I think that's where CrossFit does a great job is. We have so many examples of people that we can sort of pull from and say, if they're doing it this way and look where they're going, regardless of even unimaginable challenges, I feel like I can get through my day to day, hopefully.
David Syvertsen
Host
32:28
My workout. Yeah, sam's coming off of doing Murph by himself, by the way. So I I mean speaking of examples we're going to wrap this up, terry because I want to kind of talk about where you're going now, right, like where you were, where you are now, where you're going, uh, speaking of examples, if you were in a room right now with with five you know, bison women not not a huge amount, five bison women and because I know you teach, right, you teach in college, right, um, so you're very used to being in front of people and lecturing and talking and being the smartest person in the room, like you are right now, and that's very true, and you weren't sitting next to two smelly men that just got done, working out, right. What would you want them to know?
33:05
If I said, hey, you got to pick one thing to let young women know that they're gonna be in your shoes someday you know, going to have a baby, go through the pregnancy, come back. You know whether it's six weeks, 18 weeks, whatever, and the ups and downs of everything that's involved, and I know you're still going through it. What's one thing that you would?
Tara Porfido
Guest
33:29
want to tell them yeah, I think we're talking a little bit about this beforehand is really having the ability to give yourself grace.
33:36
You know, the journey is very unique to every women and comparison is the thief of joy is really what we were saying. And there are going to be women who do things totally differently and whose bodies can handle different things, and you can't compare yourself to them or else you're just going to start beating yourself up. And there was another woman who was pregnant in the gym and she kind of fell off a little bit and I was like I was checking in on her, like how are you doing? And she was expressing like she just felt really discouraged that she was coming to the gym and she wasn't able to do all the things she used to be able to do. And I felt really sad for her because I felt that way too. But at the same time I was like you have to understand that your body is also going through a major transition. You almost want to reflect on the fact that I'm growing a human inside of me and I'm still training and you're like that's amazing.
Sam Rhee
Co-host
34:24
Yeah.
Tara Porfido
Guest
34:24
So you can't get down on yourself. It's a tough journey and I think really the thing is lean on your community, whether that's family, whether that's your CrossFit community, other women who have gone through it like use them as a resource, use them as a support system, because it's not easy and you're not going to know all the answers, and that's OK. Other people probably won't know the answers either, but as long as you know that they're there to support you is going to really help to push you along that journey you is going to really help to push you along that journey.
David Syvertsen
Host
34:53
Yeah, leaning into the community. You know, those are the, that's the, I would say. The bullet point under the comparisons of Thief of Joy is this is your own journey and it's okay that if it's at a different timeline, different physical capabilities than everyone else. And is there something that we as a community and you can be honest about this? You know we, like sam and I, both like honest feedback, even if it's not, uh, all positive is there something a community can do better, or do more, I should say, to help pregnant women, um, go through what you're going through both, uh, pre and post?
Tara Porfido
Guest
35:28
that's a good question. Um, let's start with all the good things that the coaches did.
David Syvertsen
Host
35:33
Yeah, right you can talk about that. I know that feedback can be positive.
Tara Porfido
Guest
35:36
I know that I told you pretty early on, when we were pregnant, because I was preparing for a competition and I ended up stepping out of that's right, dave is always like one of the first people I find out.
Sam Rhee
Co-host
35:46
You literally do.
David Syvertsen
Host
35:47
Stop telling me to PR my lift. No, you literally do, that's true. Stop telling me to PR my lift.
Tara Porfido
Guest
35:54
But you were a great support. And then you know, once all the other coaches found out, there was this constant of checking in on me. How are you doing Making sure I had modifications before the start of the workout if I needed them? All that stuff? I definitely think I should share with you that resource if you don't already have access to it, the resource that CrossFit put out just to. I mean, I was passing that along to like everyone, whether or not it was helpful or not for them, who knows, but to be able to share resources in that regard. And then I use the Bison community group a lot. I actually was almost wishing there was a women only community group that I could ask questions to you. I didn't want everyone to know my question.
David Syvertsen
Host
36:36
Yeah.
Tara Porfido
Guest
36:37
Yeah, but I did ask things, like you know. Is there a pediatrician in the area?
David Syvertsen
Host
36:41
Yeah, I remember that.
Tara Porfido
Guest
36:42
I was overwhelmed by the amount of people who responded.
David Syvertsen
Host
36:44
Yeah.
Tara Porfido
Guest
36:45
People I've never even interacted with at the gym were just giving me just, they were just, it was just so nice, yeah. And again another time where I I was like I'm so thankful for this community that people who don't even know me are giving me advice, um, in a challenging time for me.
David Syvertsen
Host
36:58
so, um, maybe that's the thing that women only women only, yeah, women only be so by, and I, yeah, we'll have to. We'll give a group admin to liz, or ash, or terry, because, or all three because, or kayla, uh because, because I do understand that that's not a bad idea. Actually, it'd probably be a better idea to have two females talking about this with you on the podcast right now. Kind of true, we have David Sam on the poster behind us. Well, tara, what's next for you? And we'll wrap this up. Is there something that you have coming up that you want to share? Are there goals that you're trying to pursue? Are there something that you have coming up that you want to share?
Tara Porfido
Guest
37:38
do you want to? Are there goals that you're trying to pursue? Are you trying to put timelines on things, uh, or is it just? Hey, I'm just kind of keep trucking along. Yeah, I mean, I definitely want to get my bar muscles back.
David Syvertsen
Host
37:40
Let's do it, baby, we'll get it uh, quarterfinals, uh, next year.
Tara Porfido
Guest
37:43
I think that was actually a thing that you and I had talked about after it was right around this time last year, wasn't it?
37:49
not the past, not this last open, the open before that. I come to you and I was like, what do I need to do in order to get myself prepared to make quarterfinals? Because at that point it was still the 10 percent, yep, um. And so we had this conversation and then I, you know, threw in well, I also, I also might be trying to get pregnant next year. And you're like, well, you should go back with that um. And well, that's that's how my life has been the last year, but unfortunately I didn't get to participate in the Open this year because I had to get induced before it. I had signed up, had every intention of participating in the Open, but I didn't get to. So next year is the goal quarterfinals, and I think I've just also accepted that the next several years of my life will probably be wavering between pregnancy and postpartum, absolutely.
38:31
Again, I just have to give myself that grace that this is just a new, this is just a phase of my life and there are so many good things that are going to come from it. And if that's, if you're willing to make that trade off, then it's, it's more than worth it.
David Syvertsen
Host
38:43
Awesome. Thanks so much. Thank you so much for coming on, tara. Look forward to seeing your huge presence at the gym. I think you're a huge example for other women in the gym, especially that either have gone through or will go through pregnancy and everything that's involved in it. So thank you so much for coming on.
Tara Porfido
Guest
39:03
Yeah, thanks for having me. This was a lot of fun.
David Syvertsen
Host
39:05
All right, see you guys. See you guys next week. Thank you everybody for taking the time out of your day to listen to the Herd Fit Podcast. Be on the lookout for next week's episode.
